This post is part of the series The Ballad of Green Day
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Green Day was the only rotter left of the Born to Rott pack…. They had been respected initially, but now he was frequently overlooked by most, except the referees who took exception to his penchant for accidentally walking over downed opposition players.
However today… today Green Day was excited.
He’d seen this fixture when the playpools had been announced and his little rotten heart had pumped sickly with joy. Dead Metal… he was going to get to visit his heroes stadium the Abbatoir! Now Green Day didn’t tell any of his team mates this whilst they were preparing for the start of the season and being drilled mercilessly by Banlaen (formerly of the Blitzkriegers… now WW Attack Coach). However today… today they’d just been told it was Dead Metal in the first game of the season!!!
Green Day idolised the playstyle of Dead Metal. He had caught one of their games on Cabalvision last season and was entranced… what he tried to do every week and failed miserably at, they had made into an art form!
Boots were flying in left right and centre, all clearly coordinated with sly distractions of the touchline refs by the subs. Sure enough, blood stained the pitch as Fat Mate and Fouling Gerhard made sure their footwear was well known to the opposition. These two players seemed to be just as important as the mummies on the team… how was that possible?!?! Green Day tried to follow their example on the pitch… however whatever he did he was always caught and ejected from the stadium, what was he doing wrong here??!?
His team mates… well… Green Day always felt they looked down their noses at him. They were meant for the more important stuff… like screening, tackling, passing and catching… poor old Green Day was just someone they tolerated. They wouldn’t sully themselves by sinking to his level, they kept on about their duty to the fans to be something unusual. Even worse was the coach… Coach Thunden hadn’t spoken to him since taking over at Brixton Academy. He received a written letter every week, telling him in very basic terms what the team strategy was… after all he didn’t need to know the details… just a rotter.
Out of all of his team mates the one player he felt he could talk to was Rank Bruno, the new guy in the team. He’d made a beeline for him when he arrived determined to make a new friend, as he spoke to Rank he wondered why a look of confusion spread on the Pestigors face… Never mind, Green Day thought, this was a team mate who hadn’t walked away after ten seconds! Nirvana!! They spoke for minutes more, well Green Day did at least but Rank seemed to be listening!
…alas this was cut short all too soon as team meany, Terrorvision barged past Green Day and put his arm around Rank and walked him off to another corner of the training paddock. To Green Day this definitely looked like it was against Ranks will and Rank would have much preferred to stay and talk some more. In fact Rank even looked over his shoulder to Green Day and probably mouthed, “Sorry mate speak to you soon!”
So all on his own, once again… he looked forward to swapping tips with Fatty and Gerhard, oh my they’d become firm friends and who knows they could stay in contact throughout the season. Green Day wondered if they were signed up to the same player insurance group as he was…
Green Day decided today was the day, he was going to let the team know how he felt about the upcoming game… with a bold about turn he strode towards the gathered players and the coach and let out a monstrously loud shout of…”DEAD METAL boys!!!! Yeeaaaaaah! This is gonna be awesome, I’m gonna make you proud of me just wait. Hey Rank! Wanna grab something to eat after training?”
…however… all the team heard was, “UNGH UNGH arrrf!!! Raaaargh! Ungh angha inghra, unh nnnuh unghah. Ngh ungh! Nneer ngh unghe ngh uhrngh?”
The Widowmakers turned around and continued their training, most of which seemed to be revolving around getting up off the floor very very very quickly…
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