Hello everyone! This is Harry Gobbo, of OSPN, bringing you an exclusive tour of the stadiums that make up the Western Division of the MML. We will analyze the home fields, fan factor, sponsorship and enhancements of the 16 teams in the Western Division. We always want to provide our fans with the best information, and what better way to get to know a team, than to take a look at their house? We will begin with the lesser stadiums and work our way op to the major players and their immaculate cribs! We hope you enjoy this issue and our version of “Cribs”!
Valhalla- Our first stop is the home field of Champions of Valhalla! This run down field has not seen better days. In fact, we question if anyone actually plays here! This level 1 stadium without enhancements is sponsored by Spike Magazine and only boasts a fan factor of 1. Perhaps the Champions play on the cow pasture across the way?
The Barrel House- This field houses the Kentucky Bourbons, a Chaos side with a penchant for drinking. One would think the owners are constantly drunk by the appearance of this level 1 field. The Bourbons currently have no sponsor or enhancement, and have a fan factor of 6. Hopefully, they will look to invest in improvements that might help them win a match or two.
The Beastie Pit- This field is home to Norse Leap Til Brooklyn, a Norse side that loves to sing! The name alone is enough to attract fans to this level 1 field. The Norsemen have no sponsor or field enhancement, and have a fan factor of 6, so the money is there for them to fight for their right to party in a nicer home!
Camp Bandy- Home of the Skaven side Mauz, this level 1 stadium is befitting of a bunch of rats! McMurty’s sponsors this field that has no enhancements and a fan factor of 6, and one wonders if the rats do their best work away from home? This team is a perennial contender for the division, and their fans really do deserve better in accommodations.
Mouse Trap- Home to another Skaven side, last season’s runner up, the Skuttle Butts! This level 1 atrocity has no sponsor or field enhancements, and the fan factor of 7 would suggest that the money is there for major improvements. However, in their defense, replacing all the fragile linerats does take up a huge part of their budget!
The Darkest Depth- Home of Chaos side Innsmouth Deep Ones, it certainly does remind one of a cesspool! The level 1 stadium with a fan factor of 7 has no enhancements, but does have the sponsorship of Spike Magazine. Perhaps the threat of being imprisoned in the basement of this place has compelled the Magazine to throw some support to getting improvements?
The Beach- Home to the new Lizardman side, Battleborn Tidefighters, this level 2 field has the beginnings of a great stadium! Spike Magazine has seen fit to sponsor this non-enhanced field, and are probably hoping that a few wins will increase the fan factor of 3. These scaly fighters certainly have potential for a nice home!
Lothlorien- Home of High Elf side Thee Grandiose Gladiators, this level 2 stadium is one of the better kept secrets in the league! Bloodweiser sponsors this field, and the High Born have installed “Elf Turf” in place of grass. It has the magical property of reducing injuries when a player falls while going for it! Appropriate for the fragile Elves. Their fan factor of 5 could be better, but winning a few home games should change that!
Churchill Downs- Home to Just Norsin Around, this level 2 field has some great amenities! Bloodweiser has another great field in its stable, and the Beer Stand enhancement is sure to be a hit with fans! Players that find themselves pushed into the stands find that injuries come a bit easier at the hands of the drunken sots! Their fan factor of 6 certainly lends credence to this theory!
Slaughter House- Home of Bill Cowher Power Hour, the Chaos side that has aspirations of hoisting the title! This level 2 field is one of the best in the league, and sponsor Bloodweiser uses images often in their advertisements. The addition of the Beer Stand makes this a dangerous place to play. The fan factor of 6 should be better for this Powerhouse, and with ownership’s commitment to improvement, it will no doubt increase as the season progresses.
The Battlefield- Home of the Orc team, New Orcland Grunts, this level 2 stadium has potential to be a formidable place to play. Sponsor Orcidas is currently trying to get the team to add an enhancement, but it hasn’t happened yet. Their fan factor of 7 allows the greenskins some financial room for improvement, and one hopes they look to do so!
The Nest- Home of the Seathiel Treehawks, this level 2 stadium has all the look and feel of a Wood Elf home. Currently without sponsor or field enhancement, the stadium could use improvements to build on their current fan factor of 8. This team could make it over the hump if their players are a bit more proud of their home.
The Graveyard- Home stadium of the Wood Elf team, Stop Rolling Ones. This level 2 stadium is flowery and woodsy, just like the host team. Their fan factor of 9 has attracted the Bank of Altdorf as a sponsor, but they have yet to add enhancements to their home. One hopes they don’t mistake their Treemen for building materials for their improvements!
Mousillon Memorial- The home stadium for the Mousillon Morningstars, this monastical themed park has all the feel of church on Sunday! The Brettonian hosts have managed to get the Bank of Altdorf to invest in their field, and have added the only Security Gates in the league. This enhancement prevents riots and pitch invasions from occurring during matches, which is a good thing since the fan factor stands at 9! The Morningstars have provided visitors with the best security in the league!
‘Ome Turf- Home field of the current MML Champions, Orc side Wrecking Kru, this stadium is state of the art as far as Orc homes go! Orcidas has proudly sponsored this field from its origin, and the Orcs have added innovative Astrogranite, the only one of its kind in the West. This harder than normal turf adds to the possibility of an injury when a player falls while going for it! Needless to say, the softer races hate to play on this pitch! With a fan factor of 9, the Wrecking Kru have the resourses to expand this already great stadium!
Grandiose Majesty- This crown jewel of the West currently houses Dignity, a High Elf side with high hopes! Sponsors Talisman R Us have equipped this stadium with the only Magicians Shop in the West, which provides both visitors and home team the services of a Wizard during matches! This certainly provides for lots of excitement, and differing strategies, for both sides. With a fan factor of 7, Dignity boasts the best field and some of the best fans in the West division. If they continue their winning ways, this will certainly increase their fanbase and their hair gel expenses!
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen! A brief overview of all 16 stadiums in the Western Division of the MML. From the lowest of the low, to the highest of the high, these “cribs” house some of the best Blood Bowl teams in the MML! Next issue, we will cover the lesser East Division and their hovels and huts that house the “second division” of the esteemed MML! Thanks for reading, and remember, if it’s fit to print, you won’t find it here! Until next time, this is Harry Gobbo, signing off.