An Attack on Dignity’s Logo
by Alan Mittag
Once again, The entirety of Dignity gathered in an open field to pay respects to a lost teammate. The difference was, this time there was no body. After a gruesome match against Coach Reznorrulesyou’s Mummy Factory, the undead walked away with The Lion.
Coach Sestonn stood at the head of the gathering. “This was an attack against our logo! Our insignia! Our PRIDE! The Mummy Factory may not have claimed victory, but they did steal the very symbol of our team. And that is something we cannot forgive. There will be no mourning until The Lion is returned to us!”
The High Elves cheered at their coach, roaring in rage with him, shaking their fists at the sky.
“We will have our revenge,” Coach Sestonn said. He turned to Royalty, “Continue training our fans with those sharpened rocks. Teach them to stone the ghouls at undead matches, since the rest of the team just GET BACK UP!!!”
As Coach Sestonn said that, I was reminded of one of the Factory’s zombies being injured twice, and still sitting himself down on the bench, ready for a third round.
“We are going to send every one of our fans to every Mummy Factory game of Season Six.”
Tenacity opened his mouth to say a word, but Coach Sestonn cut him off, pointing a finger right at his eye. “Don’t worry about the money. Spare no expense. Its time for our fans to show us their Dignity.”
“Yes, General.” Tenacity said, nodding his head.
Royalty was visibly pleased with himself. “Yes, Coach Sestonn.”
Physique said, “But Coach, what if the cowards return to the farm?”
“I hope they do. Farm tickets will cost us a lot less,” Coach Sestonn said.
Eccentric took a step forward. “Lithe and I can sneak into their kitchen and put embalming fluid in their drinks! That’ll teach ’em!”
Grinning hard, trying not to laugh, Lithe buried his forehead in his hand.
Coach Sestonn stopped for a moment. He looked at Lithe and Eccentric, then nodded. “That’s fine. But while you’re there, break into their air ducts and shut down the system. If Coach Rez likes undead so much, he can share his offices with their putrid stink.”
Lithe nodded. “Consider it done.”
Physique cleared his throat. “What do you want me to do?”
“Keep up your training.” Coach Sestonn said. “We are going to face Wrecking Kru somewhere in the playoffs, and I want you to be ready.”
“How? I lost my trainer.” Physique said.
“I’m hoping he taught you enough.” Coach Sestonn said. “I want you and Tenacity to reach a new level before we face them. So you two focus on that.”
“Yes Sir,” Physique said.
“Yes, General,” Tenacity said.
“Tactician, I want you to write up another one of your articles telling our fans exactly why they should hate Undead teams, and where to aim to kill the boogers. Got it?”
Tactician nodded. “There is no real evidence for either of those things. It’s going to be a propaganda piece. Is that alright?”
“Just do it,” Coach Sestonn said.
Then he turned to the other three catchers. “Funny, you take our newest teammates out on the field and get them ready for the playoffs.”
Funny gave a fist pump and nodded. “Let’s earn our party time, boys!” Both Swift and Arcane, Dignity’s newest catchers, looked taken aback. They shared a look between themselves just as Funny ripped off his top. “Today, you guys are shirts and I’ll be skins.” He winked at them. “We’ll switch tomorrow.”
Coach Sestonn nodded his head. “Does everyone know their part?”
“Aye!” The elves chanted.
“Then we will have our revenge.” The team cheered. “For The Lion!” The team called out with him. “For pride!” Again they chanted in unison. “FOR DIGNITY!”