An Insight Into Physique’s Dignity,
by Alan Mittag
Other than my initial introduction to the team, Dignity has been treating me pretty well. I even have my own room in the back of the Grandiose Majesty stadium, right between Dignity’s two league official wizards. The room is small, but just like the stadium, it’s beautiful beyond words.
In preparation for Dignity’s first MML Pro match, coach Sestonn has asked me to do a one on one interview with Physique. I tried to get out of it, but he insisted that developing Physique’s renown was going to be key to Dignity’s success. So here I am, standing outside the door of the only member of the team that scares me.
I prepared to knock, one last attempt at talking myself out of it, when the door opened on its own. Two of the most beautiful young women I have ever seen stumble out, half naked, giggling to each other as they clutch at their belongings. I tried to avert my gaze and they laughed at me.
“Don’t mind them,” Physique said, standing just inside. He was wearing bright purple pants, and only those pants. “Elven women might be the most beautiful in the world, but human women are dirtier. Much, much dirtier.” He smirks, more to himself than to me. “Come on in.”
This was my last chance to escape, but Coach Sestonn promised me that Physique would behave, and I had to trust in him. I took a deep breath, entered. …and I have never seen so many mirrors in one room before. The east side wall was a mirror!
“Let’s get this started,” Physique said. “I promised the coach not to ‘bully‘ you, and I’m already finding it quite difficult. Your weakness enrages me.” Well, that was blunt. But less blunt than a slap to the face, so I took it with a smile.
“Alrighty then.” I flipped my notebook. “Coach Sestonn has a lot of pride in you. He thinks you’re going to carry the team.”
“No,” Physique said. “He expects me to carry the fans. Oh it’s true, I’ve gotten a touchdown here and there during our play on The Farm, but coach refers to me as ‘The Hunter’. Its my job to wreck the catchers and runners of the other team. The playmakers. The weak players.”
“That’s interesting. My records show that in your thirty-three matches, you already have four player kills.”
Physique’s smile was genuine. Pride, unmistakable. “That’s how I play the game.”
“You are also recorded at 154 injuries inflicted, with only 87 blocks sustained. You have almost injured twice as many players as you have even been blocked against. How is that possible?”
“I can’t take full credit for that,” he said. “Oh its true, my hits mean something. But the line does a good job protecting me. …And the old apothecary. I would have died twice already if not for that old coot. I’m going to miss him.”
“You mean the old team doctor that Coach Sestonn had to cut in order to squeeze into the Pro cap?”
“Coach replaced him as soon as we were invited to the pro’s,” Physique said. “I’m just hoping this new guy is as great as the last one. I tend to have a target on my back, and More_shots’ apothecaries are not known for actually saving lives.”
I was happy with the way the interview was going. Physique seemed to have calmed down. He liked talking about himself and the world that centered on him. “That target is quite well deserved, it sounds like. Opposing teams feel a lot of relief when you are carried off the pitch.”
“I’m sure they do,” Physique said with a laugh. He turned to face the east wall-mirror, and began flexing his arms.
“Do you have high hopes for Dignity’s first season in the MML Pros?”
“Coach says this is a rebuilding season,” Physique said. “Oh it’s true, we need to play it safe, protect ourselves from injury, develop a strong fan base, and be unstoppable for Season 5. But I think we will do pretty well this first season. Coach and I have already picked my targets for the first match.”
“Dignity’s first match is against Coach sturmjarl and his Mousillon Morningstars, a Bretonnian team. And if I am reading this right, the match will be played here at the Grandiose Majesty.”
“That’s right,” Physique said.
“Who did Coach Sestonn want you to target? Dagobert de Parravon, the Morningstar’s star blitzer, and with his tackle, quite a threat to the rest of the team?”
“If the opportunity arises,” Physique said with a little glimmer in his eyes. “But no. Coach wants me to crush the Morningstar’s peasant linemen.”
“That’s an interesting approach,” I said. “So you plan to avoid Dagobert, then?”
“That’s the ‘official‘ plan,” Phsyique said. “He wants me to make a name for myself as one of the league’s top bruisers. Like I said, Coach thinks this is just a rebuilding year.”