ArchAndroids

“Wrong damn address again”, said the voices from out side as the coffin shaped box containing Hugh Mann bumped around, “Dump it by the kerb, if the mailman doesn’t collect It the garbage man will”.
The box fell a hard ninety degrees onto its face and Hugh cracked his head hard unable to brace himself.
A long time passed, how long he couldn’t really say, before the sounds of a loud truck approaching and gruff voices. Orcs speaking every profanity imaginable seemed to lift his box up and throw it somewhere, another rough landing followed by an even longer bumpy ride. It was quite a rough journey Hugh underwent before someone finally bothered to open the box. The Orc voices were once again outside.. “It trash! We open it and take! We keep what we find, always if beside kerb is ours!”

A sharp blade pierced the box reaching inside just millimetres from Hughes face. The box was split open and blinding light surrounded him as he stumbled out. He was in the middle of a garbage dump, the sun was high at midday and he was surrounded by scruffy orcs. “What is this?! Human in box?! What strange thing orders human in box?!” They said angry and disappointed. “Who are you?!” Demanded the lead orc. Hugh scratched his head confused, “I-…I don’t know… Am I human?” He said referring to what he had heard them say. “Yes yes you stupid human! Why you in a box stupid human?” They asked. He was even more confused by that, Hugh had no recollection of his life before the box. “I don’t know”, Hugh replied, “I don’t remember anything.” The orcs angrily dispersed leaving just one with a clip board that was heavily scribbled on. “You sign this! No good to us, you go where dumb dumb humans go!” He thrust the clip board towards Hugh.

In messy childish words it said something about being cared for and sheltered, at least that’s what Hugh could read of it. Still in something of a dazed
State Hugh signed the paperwork and looked up at the Orc. The Orc lunged forwards suddenly pushing Hugh over, he fell backwards stumbling into the box and falling flat. Once again he cracked his head and as clouds filled his vision and he lost consciousness he saw it being resealed over him again.

The next time Hugh awoke he was on a hard bed in a bare room decorated in brilliant white. He sat up on the bed and looked around. There were no windows to the outside, just one door with a small glass window and a large letterbox. He spent the next few hours trapped in this room, the door was firmly locked, but every now and then a human would approach and push food through the letter box. They said nothing to him. Finally a man who appeared to be a doctor entered the room. The human who brought food followed him in with a chair and after placing it for the doctor to sit on, they stood at the door. The doctor had a sheet of paper in front of him. “Do you know why your here?” He asked. “No”, replied Hugh. The doctor ticked his paperwork, “Do you know who you are?” “No”, replied Hugh then he thought carefully and said, “I am Hugh Mann”. The doctor looked sarcastically at the other human who laughed, “very good” he said, ticking his paperwork again. “What can you remember before today?”. Hugh gave this considerable effort before he replied, “I was in a bumpy box, then I was in a yard, then some green things pushed me and now I am here.” The doctor looked incredulously at him, “green things?” He asked. “Yes green people,” replied Hugh “like me but more ugly, fat and green.” Hugh leaned forwards trying to remember and without meaning too he fixed the doctor with an intense stare and said “They…. Talked to me…”
The doctor ticked all remaining boxes on his paperwork whilst saying “Riiiiiiight”.
The doctor abruptly got up and left. The two humans walked down an outside hallway leaving Hugh still locked in his room. He heard one say to the other, “He seems harmless, give him access to the communal room tomorrow.”

The next day Hugh was able to explore the building he found himself in. It was a pleasant enough place, better than the box or the garbage yard. The others here were friendly. There were two types, the doctors and the residents. The residents were usually confused like Hugh, and from time to time the doctors would take some of them away or bring in more. It all seemed very pleasant to Hugh. Eventually he befriended a group of people who he later learned were elves. Apparently they were also here because they’d forgotten who they were. But unlike Hugh they all thought they did know who they were and that the doctors were wrong. It was all very confusing. They called themselves the Androids and they kept talking in strange accents or pretending they were machines. They all mistakenly thought they were some kind of artificial lifeforms. One thing they all had in common was their love of the sport called Blood Bowl. This drew Hugh to them and he couldn’t tell why. He would join them outside during the ‘fresh air hour’ and watch them throwing a rolled up white jacket to each other. They were pretty good at it! One day whilst watching them Hugh decided he could help and ran over, “Have you tried throwing it like this?” He said as he demonstrated by throwing the projectile with spin on it, and hitting the elf he knew as Robby right between the eyes. “Nice throw!” Applauded Sonny, “How’d you know that?!” Hugh didn’t know how he knew, but it turned out he knew a bit about this game Blood Bowl. It wasn’t long before he had a game going outside everyday. The skilful play didn’t go unnoticed, one day the manager of the entire establishment came to see them. He proposed they apply to a league, they could spend their fresh air time in a real Blood Bowl stadium! He even said they could use their facilities futurenet holographic therapy hanger as a home stadium. All they needed was a team name. The elf called Lore came up with the ‘Chief Androids’, but it didn’t have a good ring to it. Robby insisted he was a robot not an Android but nobody listened to him. No one ever listened to Robby.
Finally they settled on ArchAndroids. “But isn’t it a little pretentious?!” Asked Hugh. “Of course it is” replied Sark, “We’re Elves!” There was a hushed silence, then Sark said, “I mean Androids!” The team all cheered together, except for Robby.

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