At The Dungeon West Champion Press Conference

At The Dungeon West Champion Press Conference

by Alan S. Mittag

My editor has given me one more shot and after thinking it through a dozen times, I have decided to attend the press conference with the new Dungeon West Champions The Cold Hard Truth.  Amidst the crowd of reporters, fans, and yes, even Imperial Guard to keep the event safe, I felt like I would finally get my interview with Coach Sestonn without having to put myself in any danger.

Coach Sestonn arrived and the crowd cheered for him and The Cold Hard Truth.  He stood patiently waiting for the cheers to die down.  I was nervous of course.  I’m even willing to admit it.  I was afraid.  My eyes kept jumping about the great hall, making sure that the saurus, Gortlaqs, was not stalking me.  It was enough that he stalked my Nightmares.

Once the cheers died down, Coach Sestonn lifted his arms and shouted, “Let’s hear it for Kro’latha!”  The Cold Hard Truth’s monstrous Kroxigor came out onto the stage behind its coach, and the crowd erupted.  I couldn’t help but to cheer.  The energy and excitement compelled me.

Once the roar died down again, Coach Sestonn began answering questions.  I had mine ready and was eager to get his attention.

A reporter from Spike Magazine asked him, “Coach Sestonn, what do you believe contributed most to your success tonight?”

Coach Sestonn folded his arms and said, “Tactics and mighty blow.  This is the first time in the history of this team, that the main line of saurus has started to develop any real skill.  And they are growing powerful.   What we used to use as a wall to shield our skinks has become a wall of teeth and claws, whittling down our opponents until the skinks are free to harness their full mobility.  So far, that plan has been working very well.  The Orcland Grunts were a very powerful opponent, but this time we came out on top.  It very easily could have gone the other way.”

Next he took a question from a Just Score reporter.  “Coach Sestonn, how do you think The Truth will do in the playoffs this season?  Should we expect a repeat?”

Sestonn answered him.  “The stars seem to be aligning for us.  Last season we had three saurus die….”

My attention was pulled to something tugging at my pant leg.  There was a skink, tiny and cute in its own way, tugging as he looked up at me with wide eyes and what I thought had to be an even wider grin.  Its head moved in sudden spurts, this way and that, constantly watching every motion that surrounded us.

I recognized the skink as one of the primary catchers for the Truth, the skink I met during my first interview.  He continued to tug on my leg until I knelt down.  “Hoahex?  Is that you?”

His voice was high pitched, like a child, but locked in complete monotone, words broken with the sudden movement of his head and eyes.  “Of course.  You are still dummy.”

I laughed at its cuteness.  Skinks were always my favorite Blood Bowl players, ever since I was a child.  I was about to ask it what it thought of the game against the Orcland Grunts and how it felt after that knockout when the skink’s headed twisted around, and in the same monotone high pitch, it called out.  “Found him.  He over here.”

A shiver crossed my spine.  No, it stepped on my soul.  I stood, slowly.  I watched the crowd of roaring fans separate like an ocean parted with magic, the saurus in between, pushing forward as the crowd opened up for him.

There was another tug on my pant leg.  My heart skipped.  I looked down at the little skink.

Hoahex said, “My friend is going to eat you.”

I didn’t give it a chance.  I ran away.  Again.  Forget interviews.  Forget Blood Bowl.  I’ve always been good at baking.