It was mere minutes after Bill COWher Power Hour released their latest press release in regards to the rat beheadings that Rat Hogan contacted us here at Brandy Review. He had this to say about the allegations against his company.
“Let me tell you something brother! You say that Brandy Creamery products were found at your stadium and want to blame Skaven. I will admit that Brandy Creamy products were at your stadium. But it weren’t no Skaven that cut the power of your stadium. I know this because the only two creatures with access to our product at this moment are Michael StrayRAM and Jim Bean. Brandy Creamery products will not be released until Mauz’s game against The Grandiose Gladiators. The players contacted me after my press conference yesterday in regards to making a donation to the Mauz players’ families. They donated quite a hefty sum to the Brandy Creamery Scholarship Foundation. In fact they were our largest donations to date! Both of those young boys will have no trouble making it to rat college now, their graduating high school with honors this year, but that’s beside the point. During our conversation they expressed their love for banana milk and how excited they were for the release of Mauzquick. I informed them that I would gladly send them a sampler of all our products as sign of gratitude for their generous donations. Our private delivery service assured that it arrived to The Slaughterhouse before your big game. Brandy Creamery sent enough samplers for your entire roster including you, your staff, and coach More_Shots. I hope you are enjoying the Skaven Cream Cheese I admit it goes great with Orc flesh. Now as you know Celebrity Reptiles are in Mauz’s conference. So why in the world would we want to sabotage that game when it affects Mauz? Despite all of this chaos we want The Power Hour to beat any of our fellow Noble South competitors.
So I think you can all come to conclusion that it was someone within your own organization that cut the power. It was also reported that in what little bit of time he was on the field he was seen drinking Mauzquick at alarming rate. I don’t blame him as it goes great with almost any alcohol, why do you think all the Skaven love it so much? As you all know Coach Shots is contractually obligated to drink and be drunk during all Power Hour games. Our theory here is that in his drunken stupor your coach had one too many spiked Mauzquicks and meandered his way over to the transformer and relieved himself. In turn this caused a blackout stadium wide and ruined a beautiful game of Blood Bowl. So before you go throwing around accusations brother how about you investigate your own organization! When you point at someone you got three meaty fingers pointing right back at yourself. You best watch out before Skavenmania comes running wild on you!”
What will Bill COWher have to say in response to this? Did Coach Shots urinate on the stadium transformer? Find out in the next Brandy Review, the paper that always breaks Mauz news before the Mauz Tribune.