Reports are coming in of a massive explosion at the Da Grot Bowl, home of the (in)famous A-F-D Goblin team just after lunchtime today. We will bring you more on this story shortly……
Our reporter on the scene, Preachmelda, has just filed this report…..
“Well Bob, earlier today whilst the entire A-F-D squad were participating in a charity event for orphaned Nurglings a huge magical explosion tore through the stadium, whilst the cause or nature of this explosion has not been verified it has been confirmed it was magical in nature, emergency crews are at the scene which is still burning, we have no confirmed death toll as yet but will keep you posted.”
++++++MORE BREAKING NEWS++++++
This just in from Preachmelda
“Unconfirmed reports have suggested that Poseidon of the Olympus Risen was seen in the area shortly prior to the explosion, as I’m sure your all aware the coach of Olympus Risen has been vocal in his criticism of A-F-D tactics both on and off pitch leading to A-F-D issuing a statement to the effect that they would happily play the Wood elves if only to silence them”
“In further news all efforts to enter the burning stadium have been called off due to the tremendous heat and falling masonry, a spokesperson for the emergency services was quoted as saying “Well, they are just goblins, no point in risking lives” it has to be said that no survivors have been found and at this point it’s looking more unlikely.
++++++NEWS AT DUSK++++++
IN our main story tonight, it appears there were no survivors of the stadium fire that consumed Da Grot Bowl, the fire, believed to be magical in nature has subsided slightly however it still rages making any rescue attempts impossible, a spokesperson had said it is unlikely anyone could survive such a blast. It has also been revealed that reports of Poseiden being in the vicinity of the stadium prior to the disaster were incorrect, he was in fact on the other side of town at a charity caber tossing event where several hundred souls witnessed him being beaten by a snotling…. more to follow….
++++++THIS JUST IN++++++
The MML league commissar has issued a statement to the effect that as all A-F-D players are unaccounted for and presumed dead the team is to be removed from league, he went on to say “ This team has suffered terrible luck over the past couple of months, first losing its long standing coach in a training ground incident and now being obliterated in a magical fireball, however we cannot dwell on the past and as the team has no original players to rebuild from it must under league rules be formally removed from the league, we shall be looking for a suitable replacement team to fill the gap” Whilst this has provoked anger in some quarters there are probably several teams in the upcoming season that will not be sorry to see them gone.
“Right you lot, quiet, you are all dead after all” Stiess looked around at his team mates with a smile “so, here’s what we do now…. we move to the other side of town, slip into to some nice fresh different uniforms and the newest goblin team in the league is born”
Gubblum looked confused, sitting on his giant metal ball he was the picture of confusion……” But I don’t get it boss, why’s we have to fuss so much” “look, I’ll explain it again, first we were winning or more importantly, not losing, we are supposed to lose, no one bets on a goblin team winning, so when we won Goblin Gambling didn’t like it, it cost them money.” “Secondly” Stiess continued “we had to get rid of that coach, he was on a mission to upset people and we started getting noticed, not so good when you’re trying to sneak”
“But what if we’s found out?” Gubblum questioned, “that’s not going to happen said Hiderot, his massive bulk shifting as he turned to face Bellyguff the other troll “care to explain why” he said with a smile that could sour milk. Certainly the other troll replied “because the wizard we hired to blow up the stadium unfortunately vanished seconds after he had completed his task, and I can assure you he will never, ever be found” he finished the sentence and carefully wiped the corners of his mouth with a napkin that bore a striking resemblance to a wizards cloak.
“So, are we all clear now, we swap uniforms, stick on a few false moustaches here and there and Ta-Da we are ready for the off, besides we goblins all look the same he said with a wink, new team name, new stadium and a new contract with goblin gambling to ensure they get the results they require…”
Now to think of a name, something unsuspecting, none threating, friendly almost. Stiess had just the right name in mind.
(AUTHOR’S NOTE: For those of you unaware or confused let me explain, it was only during the last season I was made aware that A-F-D was a far right political party in Germany, now that’s probably not an issue for most, an honest mistake and I will stress now no one has called me out or accused me of anything politically motivated, certain none of the German coaches who made me aware. (thank you to them for letting me know and understanding) However as someone who loathes any form of extremism it didn’t sit well with me, so I spoke with the powers that be, explained my predicament (any idea how hard it is to get a 1300+ goblin team together?? Try it sometime) and they have agreed to the solution outlined above, there’s no trickery or sleight of hand, it’s just the same team in new colours with a new home and most importantly a new name. If anyone has issue with this please feel free to contact me regarding your concerns, I’ve (hopefully) been around the MML long enough for people to know its all about the game for me. )