Hello again, sports fans, this is Harry Gobbo with a special edition of OSPN! Today, after some investigating by some of our best reporters, we have uncovered some very disturbing news concerning Dignity, the MML and the Board of Coaches. We will provide you with all the details, and allow you to make the decision!
Let’s go back to last season, and the MML playoff format. At the time, Dignity was finishing a successful season in the CL, and preparing for a jump to the Pro level. The MML playoff format was an 8 game schedule, with ONLY each League winner advancing to the playoffs. Eight leagues, eight teams. Simple, right? No issues last season. Now, fast forward to this season. Mysteriously, the playoff format has been changed before the season! Stilll not an issue, right? Now, consider this. Dignity finishes SECOND in their league, but SECOND in their play pool, and advance to the playoffs. So, Dignity is awarded for NOT winning their league, while Kentucky Bourbons, who won their league, are penalized for doing so!! Outrageous! Dignity should not even have been in the playoffs!!
Now, let’s analyze Dignity, Coached by Sestonn. He openly stated that he wanted an all-Elf final. Coach Sestonn is a member of the mysterious and exclusive Coaches Board, along with eight other coaches. Not an issue, right? So far. Dig a bit further, and we find that the goblin referee is from the same clan that provides goblin players for the Green Tide Titans, coached by Thunden, who also happens to be on the Coaches Board!! Whoa, now, we have a link! It is widely known that the success of the Wrecking Kru has been an embarrassment to the Titans, who have not been able to produce a championship as the Kru have. Now, we have reason to believe that this referee was paid to make the wrong call in OT, with the knowledge that there was support behind him.
What about the other coaches, you ask? We are glad you did! Sacerdotalist, head coach of the Seathiel Treehawks, is one. The Wrecking Kru defeated them in the season finale, giving them their only loss of the season! Meeting the Kru in the final was not something they wanted to do.
Seriousjest, coach of TMNL. We all know about the history between TMNL and Wrecking Kru! They accused the Kru of eating their skink last season. The Kru ended the Lizards playoff run, in OT, ironically! Revenge would be sweet to this coach! On a side note, Caven coached a human team that won the HUMANitarian bowl last season over, you guessed it, a team coached by Seriousjest!!
Hezekiah87, coach of Reptile Dysfunction. They had destroyed Wrecking Kru 3-0 in a bowl game in the Kru’s first season in the MML. The next season, on the way to their championship, Wrecking Kru defeated Reptile Dysfunction, 2-1, in OVERTIME!! Yet another coach with a reason to see the Kru fail.
Preach, league commissioner, and head coach of New Orcland Grunts. Preach has said all the right things about ONE TRIBE, but behind closed doors, rumors in the Orc nation say the Preach is jealous of the Wrecking Kru and their success. Particularly the championship victory over Skuttle Butts. The Grunts had little success against Skaven teams. Caven, however, feels it is more likely that the other coaches on the board coerced Preach by some nefarious means.
Doneagle, coach of Leaping Lizards. Nothing connects this coach to the Wrecking Kru, other than being the losing team to Reptile Dysfunction in last season’s playoffs. Sympathy for his lizard pals? Possible, but no proof.
Shakytumbleweed, coach of Methyr Shock n Ore. A dwarf team. Dwarves hate Orcs. Enough said, there.
Thunden, coach of Green Tide Titans has already been discussed! Treachery!
And then we come to the Coup d’ Gras…Coach More_Shots of Bill Cowher Power Hour. How many reasons does he have to see the Kru go down? Losers of the last two Iron League titles, preventing playoffs for the Power Hour. Recently, Caven coached Broken Spirits to a 2-1 win, in OT, over More_Shots team in the Unquick and the Dead Tournament. In addition, Shots is currently in and ORC PRISON!! We question why the board would have a known criminal in its employ, but they have to learn to be underhanded somewhere, don’t they?
Well, there you have it, faithful readers!! Is it all coincidence, or have the Wrecking Kru been the victim of jealousy, treachery and revenge? We invite you to make your own decisions, come to your own conclusions. Like the assassination of Jorn F. Kennesy, famed ruler of the Empire in the early 60s, the truth may never be known. But the facts lie before you!
*I would like it to be understood that this is all purely fiction! It is an opportunity for a fun story, and something good to come out of an incredibly unfair situation. I harbor NO PERSONAL ILL FEELINGS toward any of these people, in any shape or form. That is all.