OS: Odie Seuss here, in TMNL’s locker room. The Ninja Lizards have just lost their Week 7 game to The Green Tide Titans! Why is that news, you ask!? Everyone knew that going in! Well, because it was ABSOLUTELY. FREAKING. EXCITING! This game could best be described as a seesaw battle that ended with The Green Tide still alive in the playoff hunt! Coach Jest, I don’t understand. You told the League that your team planned to concede in Turn 1 of today’s game; reaffirmed yesterday that you would “not be bullied”; that you would do what was best for your team, no matter what.
SJ: I never said we would concede, Odie. I just said we could. As for what’s best for this team, we don’t run away from fights. That’s never good for this team. Plus, Thunden called this the “Wicked Garden Conference,” so I had to show him that there’s wood all over this forest…and we swung it…61 blocks to his 33. We just missed some key plays, and The Green Tide made some amazing ones. Hats off to them, and we wish them good luck in the Wasteland Athletic Conference championship.
OS: Then why did you…
SJ: Take it so far as to create an elaborate scheme, including multiple press releases, and cause the League to convene an investigation about something that I never planned to do in the first place? Well, it started out as an offhand joke, but then Don got all sensitive about it, so I thought, “Let’s have a little fun with this.” ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
OS: But the drinking in the Norse bar yesterday…
SJ: That place was really called Brunhilda’s Physical Therapy Spa. We go there for their advanced ice bath therapy and HBOT equipment. We just put on a little bit of a show for you. There’s no such place as the Trojan Norse bar. It was just a reference to a gigantic ruse used by the Greeks to outsmart their opponents…
SJ:…and the leader of the Greeks in that ruse was…Odysseus!
*pulls off Odie Suess’s mask, revealing…*
Spermadactyl: April O’Neil!!
AO: And I would have got away with it, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!
*Fade to black*
A Serious Jest Joint