In a surprising move, Nevermoor Raven’s Head Coach Sturmjarl has brought in retired N.A.F. Star Cromnard Dung as a coaching consultant. Dung was one of the brightest stars of the N.A.F. with The Orcland Raiders until the league was hit with the Performance Enhancing Potion Scandal of 2407. Dung was the biggest star to face disciplinary action by the N.A.F. leading to his unceremonious retirement in 2408. The controversial Dung has been recently playing in independent bowl tournaments in Orclahoma and Syndiana.
Dung was spotted entering the Nevermoor Training facility Monday morning before a closed practice. According to sources, practice was particularly physical with Assistant Coach Dung on the field running practice and resulting in veteran Raven blitzer, Gestin being carried off the field, apparently convulsing and foaming from the mouth.
When asked about Dung and Gestin after practice, Raven’s Head coach Sturmjarl had this to say,
“It was my choice to bring Crom in to help our team do the things that win games. I’ve looked at our schedule with Lizardmen , Chaos and multiple Orc teams and feel we need to think a little outside-the-elven box to win those games.”
When asked about Gestin’s symptons, “…Gestin will be fine for this week’s game. He was having a great practice until then. He even manged to knock Dung back once. It’s just a little, minor…dehydration.”
A reporter then asked Sturmjarl about the High Council of Nevermoor’s support of Crom’s hiring considering his controversial past and unorthodox, un-elvish coaching practices. Coach Sturmjarl replied, “I’m no more elvish than Crom, and I’m the Head Coach. If the High Council wants their wins… and their blood for almighty Khaine…then the High Council will just need to let me do the coaching.”
Coach Sturmjarl spoke about player access and potion testing, “Let me be clear, Crom’s clean and can help us win now. This organization adheres to all N.A.F. rules and testing policies. Unfortunately, this week the players are in seclusion for a Drow High Holiday outside of practice.”
When queried from a Drow reporter of which High Holiday, Sturmjarl bluntly replied, “the one that starts today and ends on Friday.”
Coach Dung had nothing to say at the press conference, but one reporter caught him just outside of Nevermoor Coliseum. When asked about how an Orc ended up working for the Ravens against fellow Orc teams, Dung said, “Crom need job. Orc tribes no return Crom’s calls. Crom says *expletive* Orcs.”
And Dung had this to say about Gestin, “Heh, heh…Silly elf hocus-pocus. Sometimes Crom miss the real juice.”
The Ravens rebounded in week 2 with a 3-0 win against the Bastard Executioners after a disappointing loss to The Pork Attack in week 1. The Grunts will host The Ravens this Thursday at 7PM EST