Dark was night. The rain lashed down in a torrent like a Dwarf re leaving himself after quaffing a keg of Bugman’s XXXXXX and the wind bellowed like it came out of his trumpy rear end .
A gaggle of figures stood shivering in the cold and wet, freezing their little knackers off outside the Pig and Whistle pub .
“Iz you sure dis iz da place?”
” Yea’ dis iz deffo da place . Da boss ‘az gotz to be ‘ere ! We ‘az looked everywhere else !”
” All rite den ladz let’z go ‘ave a gander .”
Then the soggy band made their way inside .
The Pig and Whistle , though not the most upstanding and classiest of establishments , it’s rough homely charm of blood stained stone floors, severed Orc head display, bar top made out of reconstituted Elf bones was the haunt of many a lost soul and budding adventurer.
The dripping wet mob all barge their way inside , kicking and pinching each other to get inside the dry warm pub as quickly as possible .
“Right den ladz spreadz oot an’ find him .”
The group start moving about the pub patrons , poking their ribs to make them jump as to get a look at their faces , lifting up the heads of passed out drunks ( whilst nabbing their pocket purses ) .
” Oi !! Little Gork !! Tiny Mork !! Sort ya selves oot !! ”
The patrons in the pub all let out a scream .
” THERE’S TWO TROLLS TRYING TO BREAK IN !!!”
Swords and axes are drawn , arrows strung, wizards blab some mumbo jumbo and their stupid faces catch fire . A stand off in the Pig and Whistle .
“What in Nuffle’s hairy backside is going ? When did the Circus arrive in town ?”
” BOSS !! We’ve finally found ya ! ”
“Boss? Found ….me? “
“Yeah we been looking for ya for agez un agez . I iz Farty Bottomburb and dis iz Shamalamadingdong.”
“Reremba Boss , we woz yoor wedding prezi from two an half yearz ago. Da Ankle Biterz .”
( Order of the Holy Squirrel story -Something Something Something story time . Ha !! Story continuity BOOM !!)
“Oh Bums and Whistles, how are you all still alive ? ” Exclaimed the former Holy Squirrels coach . The devilishly handsome Sir AndyCuk.
” hhaaaaaa hahaha good one Boss . We all ‘ad a right laugh when yoo locked up da Holy Squirrels in your stadium and burnt it to da ground .” A cackling giggle burst out from the assembled goblins in the pub .
“Well what do you green little munchkins want with me ? ”
“Da MML ‘az got a new league boss . Fresh new teams , fresh faces to smash , noob bones to crunch hehehehehehe.”
Once again a chorus of giggles rang out .
Andy sat up, rubbed his bristly chin , downed his fuzzy naval. ” Alright you little ingrates . I’m in .”