Deep in the heart of the towel boy.

It would appear being a goblin in association with the ATX Longthorns is not the safest thing. After the Longthorns recent loss to the Flamers in the playoffs there appears to have been an incident. We were able to speak with Squirrelly, one of the Longthorns towel “boy” goblins.


Squirrelly shivered as he spoke. “We were nervous as we heard the players heading to the locker room. A dark elf locker room isn’t usually as bad as an orc or chaos locker room after a loss. We normally just have to dodge flying furniture. We keep our heads down and avoid eye contact. They break some furniture. Toss a trash can or two.”


“Mistress was the first into the locker room,” Squirrelly continued. “She stared at her hands in disbelief. As I raised a towel to her, she scowled a smile. She took it and continued. I passed out my last 2 then scurried to get more. Sprout stepped up and continued handing out towels. As I snatched up another handful, I heard the roar of an angry witch elf. My legs trembled and I tinkled just a little. Wait! Don’t write that. I didn’t tinkle” I smiled at Squirrelly, ” Go on. Don’t worry. ” Squirrelly continued, “As I turned I could hear Sprout yelping. He was named Sprout because he was tall for a goblin. WAS tall for a goblin. I looked on in horror as Bloody the Longthorns hulking witch elf hoisted Sprout above her head. Both wrists in one hand, both ankles in the other. Then there was snapping, popping, and sploosh. Her crazed eyes met mine from 15′ away. I knew I was next. At that moment a squeal left distracted her. Slimey regretted the noise as soon as he made it. I swiftly darted beneath a nearby bench, hoping she would forget I existed. I watched Slimeys feet run in place before he was snatched into the air. I heard at least one Longthorn rejoice, others laughed and rooted her on. I saw Mistress’ legs rush to join in. Then to my surprise as I heard bones being squeezed and Slimey whining, Mistress said, “Bloody stop. I know your upset,” she continued. “We all are. This was our shot at the pros. I still can’t believe I let that fur ball jar the ball loose at the end of regulation. It’s not our towel boys fault. Put him down Bloody.” ” I heard a crunch and a squeal as Slimey plopped down on the floor in front of me. From my hiding place I watched him whimper

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