At a hastily convened press conference after the billed match, “Orcageddon Season 6”. Coach Thunden had this to say :
“It has been my honour and my privilege to coach and lead the Green Tide Titans through the 6 seasons in the MML Pro division that I have been head coach. I remember fondly those early games, where we really didn’t know what we were doing, yet still the team pulled through.
I also remember the dark times, the days spent in self-reflection and hindsight, wondering how I had failed this amazing team by failing to win a single playoff game. Qualifying for the playoffs four times is no mean feat, and it is a record we are proud of, however there comes a time when you have to wonder if you have taken the team as far as you can do. Unfortunately for me, that time is now.
I am looking for someone else in the future to be able to take the Titans on to their destiny and push on to the next level and win the Pros.
It is with a heavy heart that I hereby tender my resignation from head coach of the Green Tide Titans. I will look for other opportunities to refresh myself and my coaching skillsets and who knows what the future holds.”
The shock on the faces of the Titans players was palpable, they moved forward as one when they heard the announcement. A tender moment beckoned as Coach Thunden opened his arms and urged his team forward through the hall to embrace him…
Robshank however bolted from the throng and shoulder-charged his coach with a block the likes of which Morg would have been impressed by! The impact was sickening and could be heard throughout the assembled throng of press and well wishers. Coach Thunden went down like Divine Brown in an alleyway. The Titans surrounded their stunned and prone coach, Gorbag Marlarr stepping to the fore as Big Mo ambled up finally catching up on proceedings…
“Think I don’t know you cheating on us with Widowmakers!!! Robshank and me followed ya, we saw ya and now we gonna show you what we do to pinkies who screw us over! MO!”
….
“Mo!!!!!”
Sure enough Big Mo was stood there, the familiar drooling look on his face as he gazed into distant lands where he was appreciated for his artistic nature…
*CRACK!*
Pandemonium hit the media room, Mo collapsed, blood streaming from an eye wound which looked severe, a crossbow bolt protruding from the red socket. Titans players formed a circle around both the downed troll and their former coach… media types and fans scattered leaving this reporter fearing for his life under the shuddering Big Mo’s leg.
“Wot da grok was dat?!!??!”, shouted Gorbag. The grunts and snarls the only sounds in the room apart from the rattling breath of Big Mo. Minty lumbered up to the trolls face and inspected the damage… he looked up at the rest of the team and shook his head.
The sheer rage and anger of the Titans was a thing to behold… I’d like to tell you more of what happened after that but I passed out from the potent onslaught of their vocal wrath. When I came to everyone was gone… Big Mo was no longer lying on top of me, the Titans were gone, Coach Thunden was gone… what had happened?
Had it all been a dream? As I stumbled out of the wrecked media centre I noted in the far corner of the training pit… a large mound of fresh dirt… atop this mound lay a battered helmet and a loincloth. As I approached, I saw a scrubbily scrawled cross with simple lettering…
“BIG MO, WE LOVED YA”
Leaving this reporter with nothing but questions… the chief of which… who killed Big Mo….?
Surprised Big Mo didn’t regen. He always seemed to regen. Then he would fail the next few things while he got himself back together. RIP Big Mo. 🙁
Thundy nurgling for S7, watch out CL one of the greats are coming for you all
Cl is in for it now.
Nooooooooooo! – Big Mo! – Loved that guy!!!! – I genuinely did! – He was the best player the Seers had in their one game vs the Titans!
And I bet coach Thunden cooked this all up and had Big Mo shot, providing himself with the perfect alibi in the process! 🙂
The Nation has issued the following official statement:
“We mourn the loss of our brethren Titans team member, Big Mo. While the Titans flaunted their nose at – in their opinion – the lesser of their kin, the Grunts always considered them part of the Nation. Big Mo will be missed. We wish the team well in their future ventures.”
Slim Pickens, star troll and smoothie enthusiast had this to say, “Mo gone. Bye Mo.”
Heeellll Yeaaaah! Us Blitzkriegers finally got rid of The THight Paaaants!! Rejoyyyy!