First Blood

This post is part of the series The Big Bad Wight

Other posts in this series:

  1. Soundtrack to Excellence
  2. First Blood (Current)
  3. And the Crowd Goes Wild!

ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a Big, Bad Wight, who made it his business to toughen up a bunch of sappy, pillow-fighting  necromantics named after rom coms.

And in Week 2, he led by example. The Iron City Orc Boyz welcomed the Romantics to their arena by taking the ball first and opening with a flurry of punches designed to crush our heroes’ spirit. When the dust cleared from the initial onslaught, the zombie Wyre the Lethal was on the ground, stunned. Jealous Again knew he had to do something to boost his team’s spirit before the hyper-aggressive orcs stomped it into the ground…so he found the biggest, meanest black orc on the pitch and punched him right in his eye, leaving Grubnash Bruis’Zeye temporarily blind and wondering where his mommy was.

The Romantics rallied around this brave display. They descended upon the orc formation, surrounding the surprised pigmen, who all of a sudden found their ball carrier under attack and their safety in question. Down went Mike “Dog Fighter” Vicce, Iron City’s morally questionable leader, knocked out by Garden State’s mighty claws! The ball bounced right into a mass of undead and green bodies, and mayhem ensued.

Rocky “Da Brik” Danger tried to swing the momentum back to Iron City, flooring Garden State with a mighty retaliatory forearm, then stepping forward and smashing the werewolf’s ankle beyond his regenerative capability. The hits continued on both sides, and from amidst the angry pile of fists and claws, team captain The Princess Bride broke up the sideline with the ball! But Da Brik was at it again, knocking her down and punching the ball into the stands. The loyal Iron City fans threw it right back in the vicinity of the Da Brik and his partner in crime, an Orc Named “Sue.”

Things were looking good for the orcs momentarily, until founding Romantic wight Sleepless in Seattle, an expert guard, swooped in to assist. The Bride sprang back up and quickly retaliated against Da Brik by making him eat dirt. However, while the two orcs occupied the Bride and Sleepless, another fast orc blitzer named Ignatious the Great sprinted over and grabbed the ball!

The Bride had had enough.  A quick frenzy of bloody claws ensued, and Ignatious was looking not so great, unconscious on the sideline.

Velcro Candy, the agile ghoul, picked up the ball and turned to score. The end zone was a mere 4 meters away!  But all of a sudden he felt a thunderous slap on his arm and Da Brik’s hot breath in his ear. “Gimme that candy, boy!”  Da Brik had stripped the ball! Velcro watched helplessly as the ball rolled into end zone. But then he heard the sweet howl of The Bride, along with the sound of her claws cutting through the air and slicing through armor, and Da Brik was back in the da grass face first. Sleepless ran past, announcing, “Got it!”  He picked the ball up for the score!

Continue reading this series:

Start a Conversation