Coach Warthog was at the training ground and scratching his head as he tried to think of plays to overcome his forthcoming opponents The Blitzkriegers coached by his old friend Stuntmandidi. “Any ideas fellas? How do we stop them dodging and running rings round us like all stinking elves do? Suggestions”?, he asked his players although he didn’t expect any intelligent responses.
“Gouge them” , “punch them” , “kick them” , “butt them” , slash them” were the responses the coach heard shouted back to him. “Nothing original there then, that’s how we always play” he thought to himself. He knew he needed something to go in his favour to try and sway the match for him. Ajax who had pledged his loyalty to the coach and given him protection through his militia group Against Goblin Gambling Rebel Organisation spoke up, “boss, leave it with us, we found out who is the ref for the game, we’ve slipped him a few coins and kidnapped his wife and kids so I think he may see things our way” he grinned. Hairy thought about it, he wasn’t a big believer in the fouling game unless he played wood elves, ( he spat in disgust at the thought of them ) , but maybe he could bring down the boots on a few chosen targets. “Excellent idea Ajax, on my command you are to stamp on Banlaen and Sub Aquatic, with those two off the field we might stand a chance”.
Match day, a few days later……..
The Thugz had a large crowd for their second match of the season and Hairy hoped his plan would work. The match kicked off and he watched his players receive the ball. Frizny Beard eventually scooped up the ball and scampered his way up the pitch when all of a sudden Banlaen came flying in with a kick and wiped Frizny out. The apothecary jumped to his feet, Frizny raised a hand and gave the thumbs down, Hairy spying this told the medic to sit back down on the bench, “he’s OK, just badly hurt it seems, take him off” he instructed. Sloukly Mantle knew it was his time to shine now and managed to scoop up the ball and score the first touchdown. The Blitzkriegers response was lightning fast and they equalised on the stroke of half time.
The second half kicked off and Hairy gave the signal to employ some foul play! He watched as his players stomped on the fallen dark elves without the referee even noticing. On the third attempt the young journeyman Grangor deliver a swift hoof to the fallen elf’s face and he immediately blew his whistle! He pointed at the Beastman and showed him the red card, he then turned to Hairy Warthog and gave him the middle finger and shouted, “nice try Warthog, but not this time”! Behind him stood Triperis wearing an “I Love Goblin Gambling” t-shirt, he winked at Hairy and pointed to the goblin referee’s family sat behind him. “Damn you Goblin Gambling, damn you all to hell” Hairy gasped! He sat back down as the dark elves scored another touchdown. Hairy sat back thinking the game was lost when he saw his goats sprinting up the far end of the pitch, he jumped up as he saw Sloukly dodge then give the ball to Craly Mantle who sprinted off and scored bringing the game to a 2-2 tie!
Hairy was overjoyed at this result and went over to shake the hand of Stuntmandidi and applauded him on some excellent play. Pleased with his team effort today Hairy gave them a free bar at the local tavern, and whilst sat enjoying a flagon of bloodweiser with Ajax, McMasters the team captain and Smirnoff his assistant coach they discussed the team. They came to the conclusion that Pay Mane’s playing career was over, his smashed ankle and serious concussion was really effecting his game but what could they offer him instead? After some deliberation they called the crippled Beastman over. “Your playing days are over Pay, but we have an opportunity for you, we want you to stalk and harass coach Triperis wherever and whenever you can, you will keep the same pay and benefits so don’t worry, you will have the full support of A.G.G.R.O should you require their services, now go find me a witch elf”!
Next week, the Death Night Stalkers ………