Gaesmal’s Diaries: How did we get there?

 

Hi Dear Diary,

I just use those few minutes of intimity I have to write about what’s going on for us now. We’re in big trouble, Dear Diary ; big big trouble. All began when we were preparing to face rats : looks like we were all raging for those usual defeats, and we all wanted to get a victory, no matter how dirty and vicious we had to go for it. And, as you can see, we all had our own idea about how we would win that game… We’re in trouble.

I went to an « apo », to ask him some products of his own to… improve our players strenght. Don’t ask me if it was legal or not, I didn’t ask him this question myself so don’t either. The only thing that mattered was winning. The apo gave me something that was extremly reliable, at least that’s what he said ; but more interesting, he told me it was totally undetectable. Then, we took the road to the stadium. We must have been betrayed, Dear Diary, because when we arrived, a bunch of Customs Officers were waiting for us.

Stunty went to talk to them ; they asked to have a look at our luggage, and that %#@ ! Stunty replied them : « Go ahead officer, we have nothing to hide ! ». I started to panic, as I didn’t think it had any use to tell Stunty about my plan. That was time for me to intervene, before it would be too late. I ran to them and said « This are not the droids you’re looking for ». The custom officer raised his head toward me, Stunty told him not to pay attention to me (don’t know why) but the officer didn’t pay attention to him (ha ! Justice at last!) instead. « What are you talking about, assistant ? »

– Well, actually I’m a bit more than a simple assistant, you know…

– What are you talking about ?

– No, I’m just trying to save your precious time, officer ; we all know you won’t find anything illegal in our luggage, especially in mine of course »

-Open that bag.

– I swear on Lildhil’s head that’s useless ! (At that moment, I heard Lildhil shouting at me, but I’m too polite to write the words he used here).

– Open it.

– All right, all right… »

And they found my potions. They told me I would be suited for illegal use of wizardry. I told them it was racism. They told me it had nothing to do with that. I told them I was a political refugee, they replied they don’t even know what I’m talking about. I told them I was contagious, they told me Dumbness is not a disease. I started another sentence, they told me I have a right to remain silent and they would really appreciate me to use it. But all of this was just the beginning, because after that they started to search every single luggage. Here’s the list of illegal stuffs they found :

Lildhil : Some kind of wood elf GHB, he said for his defense that it was just a love potion. Apparently, Lildhil is still in search for true love and is ready to do anything to find it. ANYTHING.

Coach Stunty : Extremly illegal penis enlarger. Stunty said it was his wife’s device, but Custom officers didn’t hear it that way. Still, I swear I saw a reaction in Lildhil’s eyes at that moment. Rest of the team laughed as they didn’t since a loooong time.

Banlaen : Nothing. That guy never makes mistake, it is so tireding to me.

Sub Aquatic : Illegal goblin porn movies. I always found that guy weird, now I know why.

Road Runner : An enormous collection of glass blades, very lethal according to officers. He replied for his defense that it was just broken mirrors, but again, it didn’t work.

Bantaen : Elfic weed. Now we know how he did to remain soooo calm on front line all those games long.

Cold Silver : A « Free Don Jamaica Petition ». Apparently, this is illegal to support him too. Crazy country.

Among the other players luggage, they also found gun powder, poison, and fake Goblin Gambling bet tickets. We were done.

Now we’re in jail, waiting for a lawyer to take us out of here ; Stunty didn’t let me play that rôle (a shame, I’ve watch so many court movies and I always dreamt of shouting « objection » in a court). Life is tough here, that’s why I couldn’t write before ; I hope my jail keepers won’t find you Dear Diary, as there would be even more proofs against us. I’m scared, Dear Diary, I’m so scared…

As some of you know, I’ve been moving in a new house a week ago but my internet provider is still unable to make what I pay him for (providing me Internet, for those who were wandering). The worse is if I change the other provider told me it would be even longer. I’m terribly sorry about it, it should be fixed from a day to another, but they always reply that to me without further effect. Once again, sorry about that guys, but I’ll be back very soon !

Merry Christmas to all of you great coaches, hope I’ll be back before !!

4 comments

  1. We will send out Johnnie CochRAM out right away to represent you and ensure your freesdom for this weeks game! We thank Cold Silver for his support in the dark times we had last season and we will support him now.

  2. Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!! – We must start an immediate petition to free Gaesmal!!!! – The others too, but Gaesmal as a priority!! #FreeGaesmal!!!

    – Also, Stunty, Merry Christmas to you sir, and all coaches, and hope you are back with us soon! 🙂

Join the Conversation