I’m starting to write you because today I became someone important : Official Blitzkriegers Coach Assistant ! It’s a bit long to write, but it worth it ; I now have a higher sealing at Goblin Gambling. Oh I know everyone’s counting on me for the team to at least go back to playoffs next seaon ; Hey ! We might have missed but it’s not my fault okay ? Oh we didn’t started the season yet ? Ok forget about that, I’ll keep that answer in reserve, it could be usefull. Still I know it won’t be easy : all my first ideas have been radically refused by Stunty. How can he refuse to try something he never tried ?? If I had the same way of thinking, I probably wouldn’t have known that fire burns or that Steel isn’t good for stomach. Anyway, I know I still don’t know everything yet ; oh wait does that mean I finallly don’t know ? Jesus, that new job looks even more complicated now.
I got introduced (for second time) to players this morning, least I can say is that they looked extremely enthousiastic. Except my cousin, but he spoke too fast for me to understand what he said. Gipsies are nice, but they should do something about the way they speak. I tried to tell them once, but all I remember about it is that they almost killed me. Ha ha so entertaining, but why didn’t anyone even try to revive me ? Those guys can go far in jokes, love that. Let’s go back to players reactions : Banlaen said he has nothing to learn from me, Tamlaen told stories about training during which he wrecked my face, but became angry when other players told him to stop as he was starting 56th instance. Lildhil said I’m not his type of men (thanksfully!!), linemen asked if I would teach them what I do best, because « remaining the sub that enters only when there’s no other choice isn’t exactly what they imagined first ». Nice ! They all admitted they can’t do what I do, couldn’t hope better start. Even witches are fond of me : they told me they would remove my between-legs with teeth if I approach them. Hey ! First day, and already sexual proposals ? Gaesmal, you little jammy !
After this introduction, Coach Stunty told me he wouldn’t need me today anymore. That’s a good thing, because with all that hard work I was already exhausted. Still, I wonder if ending a training day at 8:30 is brilliant for the team on long term, but as it’s only in chapter 12 of “Assistant coaching for dummies, I guess I won’t have this answer untill season 6. And I still wonder why I was the only one to go back home, the others saying that they had things to do untill 17:00 at training center. I absolutely have no clue about what they could do there a whole day long, I probably should spy them once. Oh ! And I also still wonder which witch (ha ha I’m funny even when I don’t want to ; did you get that one, dear diary? Excellent, I must tell this one to Stunty) will be the first to succumb to my irresistible charm.
Anyway dear diary, it’s all for today, but I’ll write you soon. I think it’s important to keep a written trace of my way to glory, so that next generations can share my advices and experiments as much as my philosophy.
PS from Stuntmandidi: to better understand my new assistant, you need to know that as a player, he was always wounded (untill the very last time that got him fired), had vicious fouling skill and least but not last, was entering the field only when I couldn’t do anything else (you can read about his player’s carreer in previous posts if you have time to waste).