Grand Re-Opening

*The camera opens on a dilapidated building, a sign barely hanging onto the side of the wall reads “Papa Whiskey’s GG Quick Bite, Pies served hot and fresh!”*

Hi, it’s your old pal Papa Whiskey here to welcome you to the grand RE-RE-RE-opening of the Papa Whiskey’s GG Quick Bite! We’re not you’re average pizza stop, we’re at institution! Consistently voted 3rd best ‘Za in all of the iron league!

We serve a hard working blue collar pie for the hard working blue collar guy! None of this stuck up snobby rank 1 hippy food, and only a savage would settle for number 2.

So come on down and grab a slice! Doors open at 10:30 EST tonight and remember what old Papa Whiskey always says! “That’s an….. okay…. pizza!”

Mention this ad and get a free serving of Gingerbread Boys*

*Deal not valid at locations and up to managements discretion


  1. Lies and slander! Just because people don’t want any new age hippy crap doesn’t mean you have to stoop so low as to bad mouth my fine eating establishment.

    Maybe try not putting sticks and dirt in your pie and maybe someone will actually give it a shot.

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