Grunts Suffer Reptile Dysfunction

GRUNT NATION – Last night’s match against the Lizards was a difficult defeat, but the scoreboard doesn’t tell the whole story.

Last night marked the Grunt’s Season 2 Homecoming game, and the tailgating started early (as usual). Things quickly got out of hand, and the authorities had to be called in. A brawl broke out between two Grunt players, an assistant coach and some lizard fans. The Grunt’s Troll ate three by-standers before being stopped by the Grunt’s leader and quarterback – which resulted in a wrestling match between the two. When the dust settled, the Grunt’s Troll, Thrower, all the cheerleaders (the ones left alive), and the entire assistant coaching staff were taken in to custody by authorities.

Just prior to kickoff, in response to the disobedience, the Grunt’s head Coach, PreachMJ, released all involved parties from affiliation with the New Orcland Grunts. Shocking as that was, Preach then pulled one of the Orc Bongo players from the stands, slapped a uniform on him and pointed to the line of scrimmage.

“I’ve been watching his bongo skills for a few seasons now,” said Preach. “He’s got some quick hand movements and has never missed a game. I think Private Gnomepunter will be a great addition to the Team.”

When asked about the wholesale release of the other players and staff, Preach said, “Sometimes you just have to get off the pot, Grunting it out just ain’t working.”

“We need contributors, and I didn’t feel that they contributed anything,” said Preach.

Under fire for the lack of a winning record, the Grunt HQ has repeatedly expressed it’s displeasure with Preach’s performance. “After last nights performance, we are pleasantly surprised with the changes and overall play of the Grunts in that game. But it doesn’t make up for the debacle that has been the Grunts thus far.”

When asked if that was enough to renew the head Coaches contract for next season, officials said, “That’s still under heavy consideration. We are currently in talks with other coaches from around the league, and should have a decision shortly.”

The Grunts finish out the season against the Skyhome Swifts, a team that hasn’t shown for any games this season, a fact that Preach hopes to capitalize on in support of his future with the team.

It remains to be seen just what will become of the team or its head Coach….the Grunt Nation remain ravenous.