I arrive by boat on Orcatraz to report on the Blood Bowl team the Iron City Orc Boyz. As I walk up the path from the dock all you see is the imposing prison compound where the team of criminals resides. Surrounded by sheer rocky cliffs and crashing waves of the ocean. You can taste the saltwater in the air and, as I get closer to the entrance you can smell the sulfur from the bellows of Iron City the underground Iron works of Orcatraz. I have an interview with the coach of the Orc Boyz BMFJiggs and wonder what his thoughts are for this season has played out so far. I approach the giant prison doors they start to swing open and a very well dressed black orc in a pin stripped suit and fedora walks out towards

” Tony Da Bird right? I’m OrCapone but, you can call me Scarface” ” It’s actually Tony Bird. I’m the reporter from Spike magazine sent to interview the coach of the Iron City Orc Boyz Coach BMFJiggs.” ” Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Tony Da Bird because ya see things and tell people ya Sing, squawk and such. we got a name for guys like you round here. A RAT ” ” Well Scarface I don’t know anything about that but, can you show me to Coach BMFJiggs office? “ Sure my boy I came to get ya just wanted you to know not to report wrong or ya could end up swimming wit da fishes. Follow me boy.” We walked around some winding halls of what must be administrative offices. Then across a guarded catwalk to the entrance to the stadium. I see the Orc team practicing against some poor goblins on the pitch with Coach Jiggs on the sideline barking orders.

OrCapone and I walk up to Coach Jiggs “NO,NO,NO your doing it all wrong throw Freddy overhand Rusty” ” Hey Coach dis is Tony Bird Boy or whatever here ta do dat interview”  ” Good I got a lot to talk about and some insights on the Orc Boyz Future.” ” As Scarface here said i’m Tony Bird spike magazine reporter. I just have a few questions for you coach.” ” Sounds like a plan Bird lets head to my office where I can hear myself think. HEY YOU BLITZERS ROCKY, SUE, AND GREAT KEEP TRYING TO KNOCK DOWN THOSE BLACK ORCS. GRUBNASH, GORFANG, AND MIKE DON’T LET THEM KNOCK YOU DOWN I’LL BE BACK IN AWHILE. IF YA GET TIRED DO LAPS.” We head off the Pitch to the Coaches office which is nice and he has a picture of The Black Marsh Monitors hanging on the wall. The coaches first team to go pro. Although the coach didn’t have any real accolades, trophies or awards you could tell the man loved his job and, wouldn’t give it up for anything.

” Have a seat Mr. Bird, make yourself comfortable and ask away.”  ” Ok coach fist question would be after the quick 3 season rise and fall of the monitors, how did you think coaching a ragtag team of orcish criminals would go?” ” Well Mr. Bird I for one didn’t have much of a choice. Although I knew there would be quite a bit of challenges, from keeping the players in line to recruiting new players being that we are in a prison. Was I worried that I never coached orcs? Not at all, After coaching a brutal team of Lizardmen , Orcs were a pleasure to coach.” ” Second question. How do you feel your team has progressed since their first season?”  ” I mean what can I say these guys speak for themselves, I literally have a team full of stars. I could name them all off with accomplishments over the last few seasons but, that would take to much space in your magazine. So the short answer would be I feel that when these Orcs are playing together and on the same page, they can compete with any team in any league.” ” Question 3. This being your most successful season in the Wyrm Abyss Realm Division at 5W-0D-1L and locked your playoff position. Do you now take it easy and just try to avoid injury against the playpool favorites Cleaverly ORCestrated, to try and have a better chance to make the championship match?  ” HUMPH! What can I say about Cleaverly Orcestrated. They’ve beat us before but, ya know what they say? The sun shines on a squigs arse every now and again. As for your question will the Iron City Orc Boyz be trying to roll through this avoiding conflict? A huge Hell No to you Sir. Those Fan Favorite Hoity Toity Orcs from what I can tell Arose to high to fast and are burning out just as quickly. I’m calling out Coach Jimsardonic to prove your Orcs have lasting talent with your half injured and niggled team. We all see who is on top of the playpool going into week 7 and, will prove Iron City Orc Boyz deserve to be there.” 

” Well it’s been great speaking with you and, getting your insights from the past to present. Thanks for everything coach and, if you don’t mind I’d like to cover the Orc Boyz thru the playoffs as well, with your permission of course.”  ” Absolutely I’d be honored to have ya around Mr. Bird. I’ll have Scarface get some accomidations ready for you and all access passes to the rest of our matches this season. Nice working with you Tony. My people will show you out. “  ” It’s settled I got the exclusive Iron City Orc Boyz coverage thru the Challenge League Playoffs. “

Spike Magazine

-Tony Bird-




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