It was a nice day for Blood Bowl on the Prison island of Orcatraz. It was nice weather all day at Iron City Arena. The Orc Boyz just finished their second game of the season, with a win over a new woodelf team the Redwood Rangers. What a matchup the Orc Boyz were down 2-0 by turn 3, and came back for the win. I’m Brock ‘Da Rock Johnson correspondent for Spike Magazine here waiting for Coach Jiggs’ Press Release concerning the accusations from Coach Jimsardonic that Iron City Orc Boyz are cheaters, and that something nefarious is going on in Orcatraz.
As a gigantic crowd of commotion seems to be working it’s way to the stage. I recognize Grubnash Bruis’Zeye, and Gorfang Smash’Hammer 2 brutish black orcs from the team carrying Coach Jiggs, and ORCapone on their shoulders placing them on the stage. The two walk up to the podium, and Coach Jiggs begins to speak.
“Today my boys showed just what they are made of. They came back from a 2-0 deficit for the W. The Redwood Rangers had the hypnotic Eridril Sidewinder use his gaze turn 1 on Grubnash to get quite a few woodelves past the boyz with the ball. Not much we could do but force them to score, although when Grubnash came too from the hypnosis. He hit that star player so hard the only thing that elf will be gazing at is the walls of his hospital room HaHaHa. Then Rocky Da Brik got ahold of one of those dodgy wardancers and all but ripped the poor elf’s arm off at the shoulder. It was flailing around and am pretty sure he ended that poor elf’s career. Mike Vicce failed his dodge and them sneaky gits scored again. He was so mad about it later in the game the wardancer Psycho lept into his cage only for Mike to hit him so hard he’s out for their next match. Just goes to show the MML what we can do when running on all cylinders. Now to address Coach Jimsardonic and these outlandish accusations about the Iron City Orc Boyz team and management.“
Just then ORCapone walks up and takes the Podium. “Coach you don’t have to answer to any hoity toity orcs whom are feeling less than. I remember when Coach Jimsardonic limped into the challenge league halfway through that season. Being the generous guys we is, we let them knock us around and get the win. We obviously gave GBAT the info of our plans and made a killing off that match. Last season we still knew we could beat them, but saved them the embarrassment because they are our orc brethren or so we thought. Now this we treat them with respect and unusually gentle treatment and, this is how they treat us. When I gave the Boyz the paper and they read these accusations… Let me tell you we had to lock the prison down. They were a bit upset since they only get 1 day of practice before a game. The other days it’s semi normal prison life working in Iron City mining and, smelting Iron for the empire. Now I can’t say I don’t bring them Loose women and, ORCaine after a big win like today. That’s just GBAT’s way of saying thanks for the money you made us. As for these Accusations against us by Cleaverly MENstrated (Cough) Orcastrated. About being in league with aliens or Russians, being cyberneticaly Enhanced. No enhancement drugs are being used. So Coach Jimsardonic the Orc Boyz Work so hard because a Pardon is available to them if they win the MML Pro Championship. Until then they are Orcatraz property and will be treated as such. THIS PRESS RELEASE IS OVER!