We received word over the weekend that the successful Lizardman coach of The Reptile Dysfunction has signed a 1 year contract to coach a chaos team next season in the MML. The Kentucky Bourbons, a fast rising Chaos team will get a chance to shine in the Pro League. Hezekiah has had great success with The Dysfunction in his two years is coach going undefeated and winning his bowl game 3-0 in his first year and he is one win away from the playoffs this year. We tracked down Hez to get to the bottom of this.
JS: Why are you leaving the Dysfunction?
Hez: Well I’m not leaving per say so much as I am not willing to sit out a year.
JS: What do you mean?
Hez: Well, as you know next year is mating season for the Saures. After losing Groqtac last week against the Bill COWer Power Hour, out team informed me they wanted to take next season off so that they could go create some progeny…so to speak….in honor of their fallen brother. As you know, once a Saures makes up his mind…..he isn’t changing it. So that left me on the outside without a team.
JS: OH, really, well that makes sense. How did you come in contact with The Kentucky Bourbons?
Hez: Well, Mr. Adams, Owner of ADAMS inc. own The Dysfunction, when he heard the news he went out and purchased the Farm team he thought had the most potential, and offered me a contract, because I’ve done so well with The Dysfunction.
JS: What conference will you play in?
Hez: We are in negotiations with the league to continue play in the Noble South. We expect those talks to come to a conclusion by the middle of this week.
JS: What can you tell us about The Kentucky Bourbons?
Hez: This team is loaded. We are going to have 2 Strength 5 Chaos Warriors, and we are currently in negotiations with More_Shots to buy a 3rd Strength 5 Chaos Warrior, Captain Morgan, from his farm team. I don’t think anyone is going to touch us in the bash game. Once we get a few skilled beastman on the roster the MML will be put on notice.
JS: But isn’t Captain Morgan a rum, aren’t you worried people will accuse you of selling out for the wins?
Hez: Let them talk. Rum, Bourbon, Tequila….it’s all good, why split hairs. We have a chance to be the best team in the MML, we are going to take it.
JS: Any other plans in the works?
Hez: Yes, we are looking to form a farm team, called The White Dogs, to supplement our roster.
JS: White Dogs? That sounds kind of offensive.
Hez: Maybe, if you don’t know anything about Bourbon. Once Bourbon is distilled it is initially clear until it ages for a few years in a barrel. This clear spirit is commonly called White Dog, hence the name of our unseasoned farm team, The Whit Dogs.
JS: Thank you for your time and good luck in season 4.