The Blitzkriegers. More than a team name, a philospohy. The Blitzkriegers (a dark elf team) promised to play for nothing but the show, passing and leaping anytime to give pleasure to fans rather than results. And the least we can say, is that they fulfilled giving the fans everything but results. They hate Green Tide Titans, and don’t like much Bill Cowher Power Hour, even if they have to thank them for the team’s prison brake during season 6.
The enthusiasm of the show allowed the Blitzkriegers and their unexpected love for risks to claw to playoffs. Leading 2-0 at turn 8 , they lose 3,-2 on a saurus interception on turn 15. Which was a achievement in a way, as that pass was supposed to set the score to 3-2. The only thing is that the « 3 » didn’t concern the team it was supposed to, but this was only a detail. Most important thing : it is at the end of season 3 that Gaesmal, a shady lineman, became Stunty’s official assistant after another injury.
Season 4 :
First season where they met two teams that would became their biggest nightmares later : The Green Tide Tight Pants (a draw ; only time they didn’t lose again those squeezed balls green skins) during regular season ; and the Bill Cowher Power Hour, to whom we stole the Bloodweiser Bowl after an epic game where Gaesmal managed his only trick in his entire carreer, making Banlaen disappearing to goats’ eyes long enough for him to score the victorious touchdown. It’s during that season that Tamlaen, charismatic strenght 4 Blitzkriegers captain, died in horrible pain. A hole that’s been hard to fill after that…
Season 5 :
We’ll talk about this season once for good, as Coach Stunty explained us that this season was not to be mentioned among the team anymore. 3 Dwarf games, chaos, orcs, lizards and woodies : they didn’t beat any of these teams. The apocalypse finally happened during last game against… Tight pants, when Xiaoyan, Bitch Better Have My Money (2 witches), Gaesmal’s Gipsy Cousin (assassin), Cold Silver (Tackle Blodger) and other players died or retired for terrible injuries. The team lost its season, and ended it by losing key players. The worse is Stunty hired 5 journeymen to make sure he would’nt lose any important guy during this game. Did I say apocalypse ?
To save the team, Stunty decided to recruit Sub Aquatic from the Sparkling Subs, Our farm team dedicated to improve promising players. He’s been up to the task.
Season 6 :
Starting the season with a bent team was not enough, as the team also had to deal with spending a few days in prison, and thus lost games on concede. Still, there was a rainbow in it : team had no serious injuries and a few players managed to level up before any dramatic injury. At the end of season, to capitalyse on this experience earned, Stunty decided to add Sub Urban to the team as Sub Aquatic gave a good feeling about the way Sparkling Subs rookies adapt to pro games requirements.
The Players :
Banlaen (Blitzer with Ag5, block, dodge, leap, ball strip): One of Blitzkriegers home made star, raised with Lildhil. Never makes mistakes, when something goes wrong it’s because of someone else. Sleeps in the basement chained, as Stunty fears him to sign to the Witch’s Coven or any other serious dark elf team.
Lildhil (runner with Ag5, Block, Dodge, Leap, Quick pass, Mighty Blow): THE Blitzkriegers star. Best scorer, best passer, best reciever, his only weakness is his desperate search for true love (with a woody, ideally). Should have died at least four times without the apo yet. Used to get on well with Banlaen, even if now the blitzer insists to play on the opposite side of the pitch from Lildhil.
Umbean (lineman, Ag 6, Pass block): specially trained to beat the interception record. Managed in a way, as one of his passes were intercepted and allowed Witch’s Coven to beat the number of int in a game record. Throwing a long bomb is just casual to him. Recieving his bomb is apparently not for his teammates.
Frozen Heart (Blitzer, Block, Dodge, Tackle) : THE rookie of the year. Managed to survive and to improve throughout middle of season 5 and 6. Greatest hope for Stunty. No one knows his real name, but some says his nickname was chosen to keep Lildhil away.
Sub Aquatic (lineman, ag 5, Leap, Block, Dodge, Tackle) : Raised among the Sparkling Subs, Sub Aquatic has been extremely reliable during season 6 (at least as much as a Blitzkrieger can be), a real satisfaction.
Road Runner (Runner, Quick pass, Leader) : Recruited to replace the regreted Tamalen, Road Runner struggled to play his leader role during two seasons. Nickname : All or Nothing. Because one game he manages every single thing he tries, and the following game he misses everything. Have issues with mirrors and black cats (especially on fridray 13th). Looks like Stunty doesn’t count much on him now.
Brave Mildred (lineman) : Recruited to take pows, he’s been up to the task, and quite resilient actually.
Montaron Xzar (lineman) : same role, same talent to get bullied.
Sub Urban (Blitzer, Block, Dodge, Mighty Blow, Pile on): just joined the team for season 7. The consequence of Stunty’s frustration.
Bantain (lineman, injured, block, guard) : every season, he’s supposed to be replaced because of his injury ; every season, he plays every games because Blitzkriegers can’t afford a new player. Had trouble with the police about elfic weed. One of the only three players (with Lildhil and Banlaen) who was already part of the team when it started season 3.
Player number eleven : no player had this number on the shirt since season 4…
Coach Stunty : cage hater, 2 turns TD lover. Stubborn to death with « the show ». Try to deal as good as he can with Gaesmal and Nuffle. Close to suicide.
Gaesmal : Stunty’s assistant for training, funding and any other task required. Vicious. Greedy. Over self-confident. Have a problem with the team not having witch to chase anymore. For those who would like to know a bit more about him, he’s rumored to write a personal diary.
Josiah Frost : Gaesmal’s active fan club president. Extremely appreciated support through hard times. Great coach. Great person.