Just Score – Team Profile : Leaping Lizard

We here at Just Score magazine thought it would be a good idea to stand still for a moment and spent some time to get to know the iconic teams of the MML league. First up is Reader Favourite Leaping Lizard.

Coach Doneagle started out with a team full of Kroxigor Players but was quickly called back by the officials and was only allowed to field 1 Kroxigor, 6 saurus and 4 skinks. As resourceful as he is, coach Doneagle still ended up with 4 STR5 players on the team and accusations of use of illegal substances, bribes and links to Goblin Gambling all didn’t pan out for the opposition. Quoting a MML boardmember “To this day coach Doneagle is in the clear but under a watchful eye of the League”.

It all started in Season 2 of the MML. Leaping Lizard clearly tried to stay under the radar but time and time again the coach of the Grunts called the LL out and put the spotlight on them. Forced to perform well, LL made post-season every single season since they entered the MML and as cherry on top, they had 2 undefeated seasons in the regular league.

The Numbers

Season 2
– 13th in overall League standings with 4-2-3 ( W-D-L )
– post-season : winner Orcidas Bowl

Season 3
– 1st in overall League standings with undefeated 7-1-0 record ( W-D-L )
– winner of WAC Conference
– post-season : lost round 1 of Playoffs

Season 4
– shared 6th in overall League standings with 5-0-2 ( W-D-L )
– post-season : winner Goblin Gambling Bowl

Season 5
– shared 6th in overall League standings with 4-2-1 ( W-D-L )
– post-season : winner McMurty’s Famous Bowl

Season 6
– shared 4th in overall League standings with undefeated 3-4-0 record ( W-D-L )
– winner WAC Conference
– post-season : Winner Season 6 Championship after a gruelling battle vs Sacerdolist High Elf squad.*

* We were forced to put this here by coach Doneagle 

Total stats at time of end of Season 6 : 26-9-7 ( W-D-L )

The Players

WADE

(Saurus with Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Piling On, Frenzy, AV- )
If 1 player had a major impact on the performance of LL early on, it has to be this guy. Nicknamed “Leaping Wade”, because of his piling on antics, he has conquered many fan’s hearts and even with his injury this season coach Doneagle keeps relying on his explosive nature. Rumours have it he is very hard to handle in the locker room.

KANO

( Saurus with STR+, Block, Mighty Blow, Break Tackle )
Kano has been carrying the team when Wade is having a bad day and this causes lots of internal issues. Wade and Kano are known for their outbursts and many a table has suffered under their fists. ( Kano’s favourite move is to smash a table on Wade’s head ). Coach doneagle’s success with LL has lots to do with being able to align these 2 brutes together towards a shared goal. LL is unstoppable if both have a strong game.

HODOR

( Kroxigor with Loner, Mighty Blow, Bonehead, Prehensive Tail, Thick Skull, Block, Guard, Stand Firm )
Not as reliable as Kano or Wade but Hodor still performs an important function in the LL playbook. Commentators described him as the most well-behaved krox they ever saw but that’s because Hodor loves the media attention. In uncommentated or unbroadcasted games he doesn’t really care and just stands there most of the time. If you ask him his favourite moment he’ll always answer “Almost scoring in front of the home crowd”. Fun fact, he hates the word Bloxigor.

BLAKE

( Saurus with Block, Guard, STR+, Stand Firm )
Blake has been a rock for LL and performs his duty on the Line of Scrimmage together with Hodor exemplary. Many opponents had to make a wide bow around the duo on kickoff to be able to attack the LL defenses. As a result, Blake feels a bit left out and is often found in the LL psychiatric offices for long and deep discussions about the meaning of Life as a Saurus.

SNAKE

( Saurus with STR+, Block )
Snake is a lost soul, he doesn’t really know his role in the LL team and tries to be an addition to the general team tactics which not always works out as intended. His heart is in the right place but good intentions are not always enough. Snake really loves being in the grass and hates Astrogranite, even the mere mention of it will set him off into a rage. He looks up to Blake as his role model and can be often found besides him.

SLADE

( Saurus with Mighty Blow )
According to the coach, Slade is a rough diamond that needs a lot of polishing before being a central player for the LL. Rumours have it though that Slade might be looking into modelling as a career so his future as a LL player might be in jeopardy. Slade loves long walks at the beach and fresh meat, dislikes being yelled at.

UTEC OF HUATL

( Saurus with Block, Tackle )
He was raised by a different clan and transferred to Leaping Lizard at the start of Season 6 and up to now didn’t really made a mark on the team. Coach doneagle is not worried though and states that in any team with Wade and Kano constantly arguing, new guys might need some time to fit in. Season 7 will be the season of truth for Utec. He will also welcome and guide the new transfer next Season.

SKINKS

Coach doneagle didn’t give us access to the skinks sadly. What we could see though was that the saurus rooms were quite big and comfortable but we did not see any skink rooms. We noticed a suspiciously large basement door in the LL training centre but it’s quite unsure what is located in there. We did hear some muffled sounds and muttered screams but we didn’t investigate further as at this time we started fearing for Wade or Kano to find us.

So that’s it for today’s issue of Team Profile. We hope to be back with more content in season 7.

4 comments

  1. I hope i started something here and new and old coaches post their team profiles… Let us know what makes your team tick and create some hype for your games.

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