Good morrow spiked ball fans! Derek Winkleberry here with the latest happenings from those lovable green scoundrels… the Green Tide Titans.
Last night saw a top of the table clash between the Leaf Dancers leading the charge at the top of the Eastern play pool and the hard chasing Titans who have been on an upward trajectory after their opening game loss of the season.
The Leaf Dancers had been hard hit the previous week in a one of the most magnificent games the MML has ever seen with the Blitzkriegers. That hard fought 3-2 loss to the dodgy dark elves came at a cost, with the Dancers suffering a number of injuries but one of them being to one of their star catchers who had to sit out this game. Conversely the Titans were unaffected by injuries on this occasion. Coach Pong was busy in the inducements window, persuading not only Eldril Sidewinder to join the fray but also a young human child under the name of Hairy Potter.
The game kicked off with the Titans receiving the ball, their game plan quite obvious as Ripper Wahrd went straight in for the blitz on Wardancer Nedanfel. Robshank however showed him the way forward in turn 2 sending the Wardancer to the knock out bin for the rest of the half. Coach Thunden was seen giving clear instructions not to group up on the sidelines, and the orcs shambled forward in a loose cage/screen to protect ball carrier Gorbag. The Elves did manage to break through as dirty soap needing Wood Elves typically do… through the back entrance, but the Titans recovered the ball through newbie chukka, Hambo. The slow progress continued towards the Dancers TD zone with a number of feints including sending out Gorbag on his own to draw off elf support, sure enough he was immediately blitzed. This however did open up space to secure the TD score in turn 7 for Cliffard.
1 – 0 at half time to the Tide
The Leaf Dancers returned in the second half with the magic sponge having done wonders bringing back 3 players from the KO bin. The Titans lined up in a distinctly elfish formation to defend the half. This cautious opening continued as the greenies held their lines and held the Dancers at bay. Robshank continued to aggressively blitz around the fringes and belly flop on a number of elven stars.
Things came to a head when the Orcs bought an elvish feint to the left hand side of the pitch and left a small opening on the right. Sure enough the Dancers swept around looking to take advantage, however the speed of Gorbag and co to come across and cover combined with an excellent dodge/blitz from Cliffard which put Nedanfel up against the sidelines. The tricky Wardancer did manage to escape infield into a safety cage of his team mates, however one avenue was left open and Munch took full advantage, storming through the gap to injure Nedanfel and spill the ball loose. It was around this time, that Coach Pong kicked the young human he had brought with him in the rear and agitatedly began pointing at the pitch…
The air temperature dropped, the breath almost stolen from those on the sidelines and the strange young bespectacled human began waving his arms and pointing a little stick at the heavens… static crackled on the air and a sense of impending doom gathered… only to be broken by a prodigious fart from Big Mo on the pitch which echoed round the stadium. To his credit the young human kept his concentration and appeared to be ending with a flourish when the stench hit him… he collapsed to the floor, blood streaming from his eyes as Coach Pong began kicking him. Back on the field the grass was mildly singed by a few Titans players who looked around in confusion for a second before resuming beating the elves to a pulp.
Inevitably Gorbag snatched up the ball and was screened down the pitch as the Titans took full advantage of their numbers advantage smashing elves at will. Big Mo made himself no friends with the fans after fouling the last remaining Wardancer in turn 15 and being sent off to the cheers of his team mates. Then it was all down to Gorbag to round off turn 16 and cross for the TD to seal a 2-0 win and ursurp the Leaf Dancers at the top of the play pool. However with the huge game against the Blitzkriegers to come the race is not over and the Dancers can still pick up the prized first spot with the Leaping Lizards still in with a shout as well.
Catching up with Coach Thunden after the game, there was a significantly different mood to last weeks euphoria at beating the Leaping Lizards. I asked Thunden what he thought had been the key moments of the game.
CT :“We weren’t perfect out there but we stuck to the gameplan after we heard that the elves were trying to bring magicians to the game. Our loose cage seemed to confuse them. We were lucky that one of their linemen fell over in the first half just as he was about to do us some serious damage by passing to an elf well out of our reach. After that though we tightened things up and ground out the win.
What’s that? No I didn’t notice any human children at the game… oh you mean the speccy one with the scar? Yes we positioned Big Mo next to the sideline for a reason. He had a good game today, completely focussed not missing a single turn and able to drop his guts on command. He may just stay around a bit longer.”
DW : After retiring Coach Doneagle last week we’re also hearing that Coach Ponghines may take a break from the game. Are you trying to vex your fellow coaches so much they quit?
CT : Delboy, what can I say. I always like to believe the best of my peers and that they have the stomach for a fight, I won’t believe they’re quitting. However if they do, then we’ll have to get some killmarks put on the side of the Battlebus.
DW : What about the rumours of you taking a break from the Titans next year and the accusation that you’ve been spending a lot of time in cemeteries with sartorially affected gentlemen in robes who aren’t priests?
CT : No comment. I’m here to lead the Titans and to get further than we’ve managed before. Delboy continue like this matey and I’ll be bunking you with Mo.
DW : Now now lets not be rash sir! How about a few words for Stuntmandidi?
CT : I’ll leave you with some words of wisdom from my good pal Coach Preach… #KillBoxWin