This post is part of the series Lift'n with Leeroy
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The Grunts workout facility has been busy, albeit it a little lacking since the death of Leeroy Jenkins. A mural has been painted on the back wall, depicting Leeroy yelling out reps to his teammates, a caption below the picture reads: “F’Orc Average – Leeroy”. Below the inscription is a plague with the head-plate that reads, Original Grunts (#OG), there are only a few names on the list – a point of pride among the Nation (having retained some of the longest standing players in the League). The rest of the facility has unchanged since last we trod upon the floor, and the lights where off when we first arrived.
Just as we where about to flip on the lights, we heard it….
“DON’T EVER ASK ME NO SHIT LIKE THAT ORCBERT!”
Was that Leeroy?!?! That was surely his voice!!! We crept around the corner and found our answer: A lone Grunt had set up a miniature sized bench-press and dumb-bell rack, and was working out while a tape of Leeroy was playing on the flat-screen. We watched in secret…
“Orcbert was a genius, but Orcbert didn’t know,” said Leeroy
“You go till you can’t do no F’orc’n more….ORCBERT” screamed the grunt as he grabbed the barbell and began to crush out reps on the bench.
Seconds grew into minutes and the beads of sweat on the brow of the grunt was creating a large pool under the bench. Satisfied, he threw the bar without racking it and grabbed a set of barbells…150lbs was the label. He held one in each hand, and started to do curls.
“F’orc yeah!” was all he said.
“Do something! You ain’t doing shit, but talking shit. Any F’orc’n knock need, pigeon-toed F’orc’n troglodyte could do that,” said Leeroy
The grunt laughed, and curled more…
“…you pork rind eating, couch sitting troglodytes, sitting on the couch talking shit. That’s all you know how to do!” piped Leeroy
The grunt tossed one of the barbells aside like a dirty towel. Grabbing the other with both hands…he bent it in half.
He echoed Leeroy exactly….
“…which one of you F’orcn’ troglodytes is coming in second?”
“Not me!” he said…and grabbed another weight.
We left the grunt, and retreated to the locker-room. One of the lockers was open, a game jersey was inside, but no workout gear…it was being used currently…
…the name above the locker:
Continue reading this series:
Lift’n with Leeroy – Cinco De Orco