Lift’n with Leeroy – Are You Serious? #HeadFirst

Each day the New Orcland Grunts have a team workout session (often multiple sessions) lead by Leeroy Jenkins. We take a glimpse inside the internal workings of both the Grunts and Leeroy’s mind.

Leave yourself no option! Take away, your safety net. Straight ahead, leave yourself no F’orc’n out.Don’t look for a way to make this shit easier.

Look for the hard way. Find the hard path. Find it, and take that F’orc’n path. Find the way that you have to fight every inch to get to the top of the mountain. Don’t look for a F’orc’n easy way out.

I hear you say it, but do you mean it?

Do you really mean it when you say you want to make the astrogranite crack?

Do you really mean it when you say your tired of being an ordinary F’orc’n player?

Do you mean it when you say you don’t want to be like everybody else?

Do you really mean that shit? Or are you just talking to hear yourself talk?

It sounds good F’orc’n troglodyte, but everybody can’t do this shit.

I heard a lot of you say you want to be a F’orc’n Grunt. You want to be a part of the Nation. But are you willing to pay the price to be a Grunt? Are you willing to pay the price to stand with the Nation? Are you willing, to do what it takes to be counted as the One?

[Leeroy looks over at Whaling Jennings who is sitting on the edge of the bench press rack]

 

You ready for this? You ain’t ready.

[Leeroy points around the room at each Grunt]

 

You ready?

[Jennings lays back and starts knocking out presses]

 

Yeah, Yup! Yup! Hit it Whaling! Hit it. You ain’t done yet. You got more! Hit it!

Wooo!

[Jennings racks the bar and swaps out with Testorclese]

 

Come on Testy! Get up! Get it Testy! Get up with it!! Get up with it TEST-EE!!!

[Testorclese racks the weights and Leeroy pounces on the bench]

 

HA HA HA! Working out with these Grunts could keep an gnome in shape! Probably make them hurt them F’orc’n self though.

[Leeroy pumps out 40 reps and racks the bar, gets up and flexes]

 

Woo Hoo! I command you to kill…Testorclese, I command you to kill! Jennings, where Jennings at?

Jennings, all way from over here, I command you to kill! HA Ha HA!

Slim! Slim!! I command you to kill Slim!!!

Where Jesse at? Jesse?!

I command you to kill Jessie!!

HA Ha!

Do you really want this shit? Or you THINK you want this shit?

Do you have the testicular fortitude to go after this shit?

Do you have what it takes to COMMAND some shit to kill?

You tell me you F’orc’n troglodytes out there lifting toothpicks, “could you please kill? could you please…”

F’orc that.

COMMAND some shit to kill…!

That way they don’t have no F’orc’n choice. I will make you kill!! You don’t have no choice, I’m not giving you an option, I’m not giving you a plan B. You don’t have but one way to go and that’s straight F’orc’n forward. F’orc going back, we don’t have but one gear, that’s forward.

Straight ahead, F’orc’n troglodyte, astrogranite sparking as I walk, get out of the F’orc’n way!

F’orc plan B. F’orc your options. You don’t have a choice! Command some shit to kill.

You got to believe this from your F’orc’n core. You got to mean this shit. Do you mean it F’orc’n troglodyte, or your bullshitting?

Are you wasting time? You can’t wait to get back to your McMurty’s and your slippers and your F’orc’n remote, or did you come here to release every F’orc’n thing you got? Right here! Right now!

Are you playing? Are you serious about this shit?

All I got to say is F’orc’n show me! Show me! If you’re serious, then show me.

If you ain’t serious…then PLEASE…shut the F’orc up.

#HeadFirst

8 comments

  1. These uncouth beasts in the West are making the rest of the #onetribe seem like a form of pondscum. If this sort of behaviour and bringing greenskins into disrepute continues the Titans will have to act.

  2. Perhaps you need a training session with Leeroy? I’m sure he would relish working with his fellow Grunt-Muscles across the pond!!

  3. He’d have to wash his mouth out with soap and water first. That sort of language makes Robshank get twitchy. We wouldn’t want inter orc relations coming to a messy end for Leeroy.

  4. Ah yes…Leeroy IS pretty intense. That said, he was hired for a job and that job is to train and motivate Orcs. Let’s not pretend that other orcs are all uppity and not cut from the same stock. Stop holding Robshank back Thunden!! Leeroy would LOVE to train with the Tide. 🙂

  5. Yes, Wrecking Kru are about to get back to Orc basics, too. We’ve had our fun scoring touchdowns and winning games…now it’s time to kill, maim and wreak havoc!!

  6. Well I can’t comment on the ‘Nation’… But the orcs of the Tide are a family side and we’re starting our campaign against the disreputable language used by our errant cousins. We’ve all had a laugh and a drink but it’s time to slap the gag on Leeroy.
    #CleaningUpThePros

  7. You need not worry about Leeroy…the off-season is done, and the first game of the season is upon us. Leeroy has other things to worry about now. Training time is over…time to get to work.

    I might also refer the Titans to the mantra of the Grunts the past two weeks…reference #KeepGoing and #HeadFirst as these are a glimpse into the team as a whole – not the ramblings of a highly motivated and muscle-bound, albeit potty mouth orc.

  8. This just gets worse with the ‘Nation’ now subtly promoting dubious movie titles as supposed inspirational hashtags!! Are there no depths to the depravity in the West!?!?

    Definitely time to #CleanUpThePros

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