Local Eatery Under Investigation

This post is part of the series The Color from Under the Oven

Other posts in this series:

  1. Local Eatery Under Investigation (Current)
  2. When Life Gives You Mold

*A slick new graphic for Snitchburgh’s channel 6 news plays on the TV before cutting to lead anchor Wally Whiskers*

“2 found dead inside a popular local eating establishment, can the owners be to blame? We turn to our field reporter Leon Lumberger as he looks for answers.”

*Leon stands in front of a beaten and decrepit looking building. The door barely hanging on the hinges, a thick layer of dust and grime stains all the windows and a strange odor permeates through the entire premises but oddly enough NOT coming from the overfilled and sticky looking dumpster*

“For a handful of seasons now this building has been a fan favorite for families in the Snitchburgh area looking for a wholesome, nutritional and most importantly fairly priced meal. But last Monday all that changed when the only thing being served was death, and it was cold with an extra serving of salt.”

*a graphic flashes on the screen of Gummy Lawrence and a stock photo of a linerat*

“One long time employee and a new transfer from a franchise on the other side of town found dead just minutes into their shifts. The original cause of death was believed to be from stomping, as evident of the many human sized footprints on their bodies, but an autopsy points at something much different.”

*the camera peers through one of the stained windows, barely able to see into the kitchen. Pots and pans are stacked to the ceiling and a strange green substance seems to be spreading in the corner*

“Both employees were found to actually have a myriad of respiratory issues and doctors now believe this may be the true cause of both deaths. When asked for comment Papa Whiskey was nowhere to be found but management did respond to us with this note.”

We here at “Papa Whiskey’s GG Quick Bite” are deeply saddened by the loss of 2 of our family members this week, Gummy Lawrence and the other one. In honor of their sacrifice and their memories there will be a special on Tuesday, a dollar off for every turn Gummy lived. Carry out only.

-Papa Whiskey

“Town officials will be investigating next week to determine the fate of the pizza shop.

Leon Lumberger, Snitchburgh 6 news.”

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