Molding a New Dignity
By Alan Mittag
Thousands were gathered for Dignity’s big press release, and after the last few weeks of practice games and the sudden rise in the demand for Dignity Rocks, everyone was there in hopes of seeing Dignity return to action for Season 15.
Among the thousands of screaming fans, were the regular journalists, my compatriots and rivals, here to ask their questions.
I stepped up to the podium to greet them. The crowd hushed. They waited.
I pulled out the envelope, deliberately taking my time as I peeled it open from the side, blew into it and plucked out the paper within. I unfolded it. They waited in silence.
I opened my mouth, as if I were about to speak, but then reached into my coat pocket for my reading glasses. Exasperation filled the square. I slowly unfolded my glasses, settled them above my nose, and adjusted them for a few seconds until all of their faces read maximum annoyance.
“Ahem,” I cleared my throat.
I opened the paper again.
“Dignity”, I started. “Has registered for Season 15!”
The crowd burst into cheers and questions and excitement so quickly that I took a step back and shielded myself from it. The sudden roar was deafening. But I let it go. This is what they were waiting for. This is what we have all been waiting for.
After a few minutes, they quieted down and I stepped back up to the podium. “Now, I will answer of few of your questions.”
The journalists jumped into shouts and raised arms, trying to get my attention. I pointed to one and he asked, “Is Coach Sestonn returning to lead the team?”
“Yes,” I said. “Dignity never even considered going in a different direction. Their previous success was under Coach Sestonn’s leadership, and so will their future success.”
I pointed to another and he asked. “Does Dignity have anything to do with the sudden disappearance of Vampire Tenacity, from Sanguineous Dignity?”
I had to shake away the vision of Physique flying through the air, piling on with the broken shard of wood, a leg from a chair that broke during the struggle. I was prepared for the question, but still, I had hoped it wouldn’t come up.
But I had my answer ready, “Dignity will neither confirm nor deny the possibility that they took action to restore Tenacity’s lost Dignity. But if Vampire Tenacity has indeed been destroyed, the members of Dignity offer their most heartfelt thanks to whatever warrior set him free. They hope their fallen brother has returned to peace.”
I pointed to the journalist from Spike! Magazine, and he said. “Dignity has been out of the picture since Season 5. Are they really prepared to return? How has the last ten years changed them?”
“That is a very good question,” I said. “We all know elves age very slowly, so there’s no worry in that regard. But ten years of vacation is a long time for an athlete who expects to return to peak physical condition. Dignity has been training hard, trying to get back to that condition, and as you all know, have been playing practice matches with a few of the Pro teams to help gauge their own aptitudes.”
“And what is the verdict on those aptitudes?” the man from Spike! Said.
“Dignity has competed well in those practice matches, and they feel secure that they can step into a rebuilding season without embarrassing themselves.” I said.
I pointed to the next journalist down the row, who asked, “Speaking of a rebuilding season, what is Dignity’s plan to replace Tenacity? Is the second blitzer position still empty?”
“It is,” I answered. “And Dignity does not plan to hire a new Blitzer for season 15. We are going to save up funds to purchase a transfer blitzer from the farm after the season.”
The crowd burst into a frenzy of questions.
- “What is the name of Dignity’s feeder team!?”
- “Are you looking for a leaper!?”
- “Do you want someone like Tenacity!?”
- “My cousin is a blitzer!”
- “Will Royalty give rock throwing lessons?”
- “Yay Dignity!”
- “I love you, PHYSIQUE!”
- “Break your old passing record!”
- “Do you want a new strength elf!?”
- “Get a guard!”
I had to take a step back. So many questions, I could only manage to separate a few.
Eventually, I stepped back up and said, “We ask any potential candidates to meet Dignity’s naming scheme. WHich is either their original first or last name and a nickname in quotation marks that should somehow match their personality and style. Although the skills of the next blitzer are important, it is far more important that the next Dignity blitzer be an Elf of upstanding honor and integrity, with a personality that will shine among the elite of Dignity.
“Dignity is beginning this season with only 40000 gold, so if you are interested, follow along with their progression and see how much they will have to make that transfer at season’s end. If your blitzer is interested in the possibility of becoming a part of Dignity, please send their information to Dignity Tower, care of Tactician.” (Comment below, or DM Sestonn). ” Any outstanding plays recorded on cabalvision can be included.” (Send info of what game, and what turn. If we get a few of them, I will create a tryouts video around transfer time for Season 16.) “Coach Sestonn, Tactician, and the Dignity Executives will keep an eye on that player’s progression, and if he seems like a good fit, he will be invited to the Dignity Blitzer Tryouts.”
The crowd erupted again.
- “Play With Dignity!”
- “Dignity Has None!”
- “I want a rock!”
- “Where’s Royalty! I want to see Royalty!”
- “I’m a blitzer!”
- “Can an orc join? I’m an elf on the inside!”
- “Vampires suck!”
- “I love you, PHYSIQUE!”
- “Free Soap!”
- “Fwee Sope!”
“No more questions,” I said as I retreated back to the heavy double doors of Dignity Tower, mumbling to myself about the responsibilities of being an archivist and how that is not the same thing as a PR person.
Help me make the search for Dignity’s next blitzer more fun than just farming one up myself! …which I am going to do, just in case no one wants to play.
The name scheme is not absolutely necessary. If you already feel you have a good candidate, great. But keeping the naming scheme in cohesion will be worth some consideration.
Dignity starts S15 with 40k. So assuming 7 games at an average 40k, there should be around 320k to make the purchase, so unless your blitzer is something insane, the funds should work out. Occasional money could be shelled out to top off the inducement of a babe or apothecary, but I do not intend to make a big purchase unless absolutely necessary.
DM me with any scenes that truly stand out, and if we get 5 or more, I’ll stick them together to make a video of the blitzers who are trying out.
Also, personality is a great thing for any Dignity player. If you want to write up a quick story about your blitzer, fantastic! Use the Dignity Lion featured image and title the story as Dignity Tryout — (Player name) If you want to go even deeper and use any Dignity characters in that story, contact me and I can help you make sure their personalities and dialogue fit with their previous stories.