More_Shots: I know you have many questions at this time. I’ll try to cover the obvious ones first to save you the trouble of asking them. Yes, I will continue to coach the Power Hour thru this season’s playoff run. After last season’s 2 win 1 draw and 4 loss record Mr. COWher began taking the team into a different direction. I had requested of him a player that would help with passing offence and increase the excitement and scoring that the team was capable of. He had lost sight of my vision for the team and instead brought in Irish Carbomb. Carbomb is a violent player that is a danger to himself and other around him. He has been difficult to coach and often act unilaterally and without the team’s best interest. The addition of him to the team changed it play style and also placed us dangerously near the PRO TV cap. Due to Carbomb’s inflated salary the team now is having serious cap issues and Bill has informed me that Odell BeckRAM Jr. is to be traded to make room to keep Carbomb. This will force my offense back into a cage and in my opinion set the teams growth back several seasons. I can still remember the day MarSHEEP handed the ball over to Odell and we bravely began the chaos passing offense. We had big dreams. But, With 1 bad season that was taken away from me. I attempted to save Odell’s job by spending all the teams money on a cash wizard in the Leaping Lizards game. That only served to anger upper management and has put my job at risk. They have kept me on for the time being but, have voided my current contract for future seasons. I have reached out to a few other teams at this point but, have not made any hard commitments at this time. Now, back to the game at hand. I’m glad that have gotten a win in our game this week and I’m saddened to hear about the Leaping Lizards going into retirement. They are a great franchise and will be greatly missed. It was an honor to share the field with them. I look forward to seeing DonEagle coaching up his new team to similar greatness. I’ll now open things up for questions. We will start with the new guy. (Points to a reporter in a hoodie) What’s your question.
Hoodie Reporter: Did the corrupt coaches board force you to step down?
More_Shots: Interesting question. I stepped down from the board of my own volition. The board and its members had always been respectful and fair to me and I enjoyed my time on the board. I stepped down from the board in hopes of spending more time focused on improving myself as a coach and with the goal of using my efforts to focus more on other features for the league. Next?
Tall Reporter: Are you following the example of Doneagle and chasing him to the CL to finish off what you started?
More_Shots: No, my possible change of teams is in no way connected to Doneagle’s move and in no way am I looking to chase him around on some vengeance tour. I respect him as a coach and wish him well.
Hoodie Reporter: Did Big Mo’s attempted murder have any bearing of your decision to leave the DVC?
More_Shots: I think don’t think it was an attempted murder… I’m pretty sure it was just a murder. But, no this conference has always been a violent place even back when I started here in season 2.
Tall Reporter: On the topic of Big Mo any comments about him or the stories behind his death?
More_Shots: Big Mo will be missed. I had the pleasure of coaching against him 3 times in his career. It’s rare to see players play with the joy that he did. He wasn’t the best troll in the league and he might not have been the easiest to coach. But, god the fans loved him and he loved playing blood bowl. Can’t remember how many times he has was killed and regen’d to give the fans something to cheer for. The league is a smaller place without him. This is getting a bit sad do we have any more upbeat questions? The British looking chap (Points at a reporter.)
British Reporter: Rumors in the press have circulated you ordered your players to take it easy on Don Eagle? Can you confirm that this was a goblin gambling plot to ensure his players arrived at the transfer market in one piece?
More_Shots: My focus in the game was to get a win. Once we had that in hand we attempted to keep our players safe and to protect our lead. This didn’t please Bill COWher who from the stand ordered a few late turn fouls on Wade… But, I did not feel it was needed to hunt the rest of his team once a win was within our clutches. As far as goblin gambling goes… I have never and will never work with then after what they have put me and my team thru.
Hoodie Reporter: Is there any truth to the allegations?
More_Shots: What allegations?
Hoodie Reporter: Never mind… someone else go.
British Reporter: Why is your team willing to sell such key players?
More_Shots: It is not my choice and upper management gets the final say in roster construction. I feel if they had it their way they may even fire several players just so Bill COWher could lace up his cleats on a return tour.
Dirty Reporter: Your team is regarded as one of the bashiest in the league… But, you are on record as wanting to break the single game passing record?!?! What gives?
More_Shots: That was and is a goal of mine. The roster changes the team has made will make that goal unachievable and that is something outside of my control. I will continue to chase that goal in my coaching future no matter what team or race I am leading.
Hoodie Reporter: Is there any truth to the allegations? (awkward silence) … ummm is it TRUE that, due to daylight savings time the Power Hour has set their team back 1 season?
More_Shots: Who is this guy? Is he even with the press? Are you with a tabloid? Someone check his credentials!
Hoodie Reporter: BYE BYE (Runs out) More_Shots: This is over! I can’t believe you let some random in. (Storms off stage)