News reports out of Mousillon have been stagnant this season (HEY!?! I’m SO sorry I’m not as “Prolific” as Sestonn…These things don’t write themselves *Thpptt*) The Morningstars continue to struggle in this season; first tying the New Orclund Grunts in Week 1 (ANOTHER TIE?!?!!) before being annihilated by The “fresh to the Pro League” Nuffle’s Holy Rollers by a score of 4-1 in week 2 (REALLY?!!?! *ahem* Congratulations, Durrun! # I hate you) despite listening in on Coach Durrun’s broadcast feed (How Belichek of you Coach, Sturmjarl! Great voice for commentating, Durrun! # I Still Hate you). The Morningstars could do little right whether controlling the ball (You HAVE Surehands for a reason Dagobert!) to taking ANY of The Holy Rollers off the field (Why do I even HAVE tackle on this *expletive* Team?!?!!!).
Upon returning to Mousillon, an irate and possibly inebriated (Oh, He’s Drunk alright) Morningstar team owner, Archibald Drumph took to YouScryeVideo to (once again) rail against his coaching staff, team…and pretty much all of the MML for the failings of his organization (Here we go, now! ).
I first of all want to apologize to our fan-base in Mousillon…and all of Bretonnia for the disappointing start of this season. Myself and this organization had much higher expectations for this team..and…so far…this team has fallen well below what…I DESERVE…and DEMAND…of my staff (#underlings).
Drumph, slurringly (making up words again) continued.
That said…I want to express my complete disgust at the MML…for…everything going wrong with MY TEAM!!!…How can we not get a fair amount of home games (Thanks for pointing that out, Caven *wink*). I’m ABSOLUTELY convinced that playing in Mousillon would have TOTALLY affected the outcome of both matches!! (Sure it would)…And what is the deal with these “Low Elves” coming around…and running up scores…against MY TEAM?!?!! (Maybe we should play some defense? #Just Saying).
At this point Drumph stands and stumblably (Really? That’s actually a word SpellCheck? #Winning!!) paces back and forth in front of the camera.
The absolute *expletive* of a league commissioner to try to ruin MY success…and players…NOT…doing…what they are supposed to be…DOING…knocking out..*expletive* elves…and dirty orcs…and…ARRGGGHHH!!! Why aren’t we WINNING?!!? WHY!!?? ARRRGGHHHGHGH!! Coaching…SUCKs…Players….Suck…Hate my dice…Hate everybody…..Meh.
So…ummm…yeah…The Morningstars get to host The Snitchburgh PieRats next week (Oh Thank you SO MUCH for a Home game, Commissioner Preach *mutter mutter, grumble, grumble*).
#Making Bretonnia…oh whatever