Hello sports fans! Welcome to opening day edition of OSPN, this is Harry Gobbo reporting! We are here at ‘Ome Turf, home stadium of the Wrecking Kru, following a brutal and bloody contest, a rematch of last season’s semifinal playoff game, with Dignity, the High Elf wonder team! This one promised to be very violent, due to last season’s “Glitch Game”, where the Kru lost a bid to repeat as MML Champions. If you remember, many of the Kru players were very upset, and vowed revenge on the Noble born. Well, tonight, the Kru paid that debt in full, with a 2-1 victory in the season opener for both teams. The Kru came out hitting, fouling and doing just about every Orc thing they could imagine, which is a complete turnabout from their previous game plans. In fact, the Kru fouled more Dignity players tonight (4? 5?) than they have fouled in all of their previous games combined! To say they had revenge on their minds would be an understatement. Now, here with us is Coach Caven of the Wrecking Kru.
Coach, congratulations on tonight’s victory! How are the boys feeling after such a hard hitting affair?
“Thank you, Harry! First, I’d like to offer thanks to the Orc god, Grumpsh, for obviously being with us tonight, and also Nuffle, for coming along with Grumpsh! With the exception of their early first half score, everything went right for us tonight. We hit harder, we took hits better, we had more opportunities with the ball…it was just an all-around good performance for us. During the game, I thought we might be close to a blocking record, because Elves were dropping like flies out there, but we only had about 30 successful blocks. Our hard-hitters brought their “A-Game” tonight. What can you say about Takru? Gutrad took the team on his shoulders, scoring both of the touchdowns and garnering the MVP. Even the new guy, Dirty, had a solid performance. We were very pleased with the outcome tonight. More so about getting the three points, but gaining a small measure of revenge on Dignity. Nothing will ever replace that loss, but we got a bit of payback tonight.”
Coach, we noticed that Thrower Rotnail had a minimized role in tonight’s game. Was it due to his failure to score in the first half of the playoff match?
“No, Harry. Rotnail is still our Thrower, still an offensive threat for us. It was the rain. Although he has sure hands, Gutrad actually has better hands. There was a moment in the second half, when Gutrad bobbled the ball, that we thought we made a mistake, but he regained composure and the ball, and scored the game winner.”
We heard rumors that the Kru had a “hit list” out on the Dignity players, and were offering “bounties” for any and all injuries caused. Is this true?
“Yes, Harry, that is true. I won’t deny that the lads took it upon themselves to give incentive to each other to win this match. However, not a single one of their “skill” players were on that list. They were just “icing on the cake”, so to speak. The player we had at the top of the list was lineman Jester. He was already slowed by a previous injury, and we figured we could gain the numbers advantage by putting him out. We did that very early in the contest. Lineman Stalwart was number two on our list. He gave us all kind of problems last season, so we knew he needed to be put out. We ended up sending him to the morgue, if I am not mistaken. The third player on the list was lineman Dauntless, tied with catcher Funny. Dauntless had a habit of taking on our Black Orcs last meeting, and knocking them down. He is a tough Elf, because all of our efforts to put him out failed. In fact, he was the sole Elf left on the pitch in the second half. A tribute to his dignity. Funny, however, was injured and missed much of the game, and so was lineman The Lion. We thought if we could take out their linemen, and force their skill guys to mark up, we would have a much better chance to win, and that turned out to be the case.”
We say much more fouling from the Kru than ever before. Can you explain the change in tactics?
“Harry, we’ve always tried to play fair, taking the “gentlemen’s road” in our previous games. It has worked out, for the most part. However, we’ve always felt there was just something missing. Even in our championship season, there was a “hole” in our style. We talked about it, a lot, after the semifinal loss to Dignity, and discovered that it was our Orc underhandedness. We weren’t fouling our opponents. Much of that was due to only having 11 on the roster, so the addition of lineman “Dirty” to our team, it gave us an added dimension. It worked well tonight. I believe we removed four elves, two by injury and two by knock out, with team fouls. We did have two linemen ejected by the referee, but by that time, it didn’t really matter.”
Coach, next up for the Kru is the new Undead team, Mummy Factory. What do you expect from them?
“Harry, we don’t know much about them, but our scouts report they field four ghouls, and a Wight that can throw. We assume they will try to be “Elvish” in their game style. Their two Mummies sport several skills, and will cause trouble for us, but we feel our Black Orc line can stick with them. The key, as with all Undead teams, is taking their linemen out early, forcing their ghouls to mark and get into the match. A few good hits on them can really cause some problems for their teams. We hope to just maintain ball control, a tight defense, and look to get at least a point at their place. It will be fun to face those guys.”
Well, there you have it, straight from Coach Caven’s mouth! A measure of sweet revenge for the Wrecking Kru, and a newfound strategy from the boys! We hope you tune in next week, after the match with the Mummy Factory, for another insightful edition of OSPN. This is Harry Gobbo, signing off, until next week! And remember, we always have more room for any bandwagon fans of the Wrecking Kru!!