No More Mr Nice Ogre !!

This post is part of the series War Dogs

Other posts in this series:

  1. Who Let the (War) Dogs Out?
  2. No More Mr Nice Ogre !! (Current)
  3. The War Dogs Return !


The West Coast War Dogs had just completed their maiden season with the MML and it wasn’t great. Loosing 6 matches, and a tie with Dino Rock. Two of their pack had been brutally murdered by the vile, stumpy, little, fat dwarves of the Granite City Grimbeards and replacements had to be drafted to fill the empty slots. The War Dogs will return next season but Coach Hairy knew something had to change. His ogres were getting beaten up by every team he faced, their natural brute strength and ability to take punishment let them down, even the useless gnobbler players were able to take harder beatings!!! Hairy knew he had to go back to what ogres do best. Kill!!! He may not have recruited the most barbaric ogres seen as they were all highly trained chefs and food critics but next season would be different, he knew he had to go,

“Back To Basics !!”


The team captain Bull Dawg Jones and the feisty youngster Damnation Dalmatian lost their lives this season at the hands of Coach JustStevie’s murderous Grimbeards.

A double funeral was prepared for the duo, a private affair and buried underneath the astrogranite on the pitch at The Dog Pound. Hairy hoped the thought of their deceased team mates underneath their feet would inspire his team to kill and brutalise the opposition. Bull Dawg’s restaurant business had gone bust since his murder and his wife and kids were now living on the streets and gutters, dirty and hungry thanks to Stevie. Mastiff the Wild approached his coach, “wot we gonna do boss”? He grunted. The dejected team looked at their coach for inspiration. Hairy looked at the 5 ogres stood there looking solemn, dabbing their eyes with their pink silk tissues, he looked at the gnobblers, picking their noses and eating the contents they found.

“Enough”!!!!! Hairy screamed!! “You guys have forgotten what you are, you’ve become soft, weak, gentle, considerate, well let me tell you, that is all going to change”!

The ogres looked shocked, Poppy Yon nearly started to cry and had to be consoled by Slobbering Rott Viler. Hairy went on, “You guys are ogres for f’orcs sake, one of the most feared races around on the pitch, where has that brutal, angry, nasty side to you gone, I want it back this coming season and if it doesn’t you’re all out, I want injuries, I want death, I want you to foul, I want you to throw those gnobblers into cages and take the opposition out, I have recruited a new player to the team and I want him to show you what being an ogre is all about, come forward”!

A lumbering behemoth stomped over and presented himself before the team. An evil, stare with no feeling or emotions gazed amongst upon his new team mates.

“Gentlemen, may I present to you, Marma Puke, the feared and convicted elf violator, he will be teaching you how to be an ogre again, he is your new team captain and you follow his lead”!

The War Dogs looked at their new team mate with suprise, awe and fear, unknowing what to say or do, but they knew this is what they needed to find themselves again, they knew they had to find themselves again, they knew next season would be different …………

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