Nobodys Acquire Beans n’ Mash in Off Season.

In a strange event, coach RJCarrot makes a move to acquire Beans n’ Mash in the offseason.  When questioned about this unprecedented trade he had this to say.

“I know the acquisition of Beans n’ Mash is unprecedented, as halfling players generally do not last long enough to reach the status of Beans n’ Mash.  But we as an organization decided that he would be a great fit for our team going into our first Challenge League game.”

When questioned about the 130k spent to acquire the player he was stated as saying:

“Yes that is quite a lot of money to spend on a player that may or may not live long enough to make it through the first game let alone the season.  I know halfling teams in the past generally trade for Treemen as their lifespan in the sport is usually considerably longer.  We feel that Tree and Other Tree fit those positions well so we went in another direction.  As for the money, what else were we going to spend it on?  Our chef is already well paid, and Tree and Other Tree are locked down in solid contracts.”

Many fans of the Nobodys as well as the locker room were concerned with the changes the team would make with the acquisition.  On that topic the coach replied:

“There shouldn’t be too much of a shift.  Beans will be taking the role of first string bullet for the team in tandem with Unnamed Halfling #11.  He will also have supporting roles in kickoff returns.  Unnamed Halfling #1 has been cut from the team and sent back to the minors.”

We caught up with Unnamed Halfling #1 and he had this to say about his Termination:

“SWEET!  I DIDN’T DIE!”

We received a few moments with Beans during 4th lunch, he had this to say about joining the team:

“They take really good care of me here, my contract covers meals from the team chef up to and including 5th lunch with an option to gain 2 additional meals and brunch to be named later, provided I survive the season.  The only restriction is that I am not to go past 2nd lunch on game days as we had an incident during practice during one of my flights.”

We contacted the grounds keeper at halflings end field and he had this to say:

“I have had my share of cleaning up bodies and blood from the field.  I have carted off more halfling corpses that I care to number.  But this was something unreal, I mean 4th 5th and 6th lunch just all over the field.  The boy can eat but he can’t hold it down in mid-air, covered everything in its path including Other Tree”

On the way to the locker room we questioned Other Tree about this incident, we asked how he felt about the situation, he had this to say:

“Gross”

With the starting of the Challenge League just around the corner, we will see if the Nobodys are throwing touchdowns with this acquisition, or if they were just throwing away 130k.

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