Questioning Coach Sestonn’s Dignity
by Alan Mittag
The situation was horrible. After an all out war, the semifinal between Wrecking kru and Dignity was in deliberation. The Overtime kick off coin flip went to Caven08, coach of Wrecking kru, who selected to receive but the Blood Bowl officials instead forced him to kick, essentially giving the ball, and the game, to Dignity.
Minutes after the match, Coach Sestonn seemed to be understanding of the glitch, and was willing to replay the match. But after a few hours, he took it back and forced the MML board to make the decision.
I’m here with Coach Sestonn now, and I have a few questions for him about his Dignity, and how he could go back on his word to offer a rematch. Although while I ask him about it, I am reminded that this is the same prick that locked me in a training hall with Physique.
“Coach Sestonn,” I said. “Right after the match, you told all of the fans that if Caven08 wanted to replay the match, you would agree to it.”
“I did,” Coach Sestonn said. “I suppose it would have been better to say that I would think about it. We just finished a two hour war, perhaps the most difficult match I have ever coached, and as soon as the stress was relieved my brain was in rest mode. But definitely yes, I should have said ‘I would consider it.'”
“What did make you change your mind?”
“At first I was putting myself in Caven’s shoes, and yes, what happened is a horrible thing and the whole blood bowl world should be raging against the game’s creators. But after I had time to relax and think over the entire situation, I realized that we would be replaying a game due to a non-decision of a coin flip.”
“A nondecision?” I said. “What do you mean by that?”
“Everyone needs to choose to receive on Overtime. Over time is sudden death, and the only reason to kick the ball would be confidence, cockiness, and a taunt to your opponent. Let’s face it, if you are the kind of team that easily scores when you kick the ball to your opponent, you are not in Overtime.”
“But a nondecision?”
“Everyone chooses to receive. Everyone. 100%. So that means we would be replaying an entire game due to a 50/50 coinflip, and to me that doesn’t sound right. Right after the game, if I were in Caven08’s shoes, I would have wanted a rematch. So that’s why I thought I would give him one. But after enough time to think about it, if I were in Coach Caven08’s shoes, I would have realized we would be replaying an entire game because a coin flip was faulty, and would have retracted my insistence on a replay. Afterall, the coin could have gone the other way, and then Dignity might have chosen to receive and been handed the ball to kick. If this crappy goblin were to referee half of the post-season matches, would we replay every one of them that went to overtime?”
That doesn’t mean that I am happy with the result. I’m not. Coach Caven08 deserves better, and frankly, so do I. It’s wrong that such an important match was brought to controversy because a goblin referee can’t understand the hand signals for receive, especially in a situation where YOU WOULD NEVER CHOOSE TO KICK! If that referee thought Caven had chose to kick, he should have been confused enough to double check.” Coach Sestonn does a bad impression of a goblin’s whiny voice, “‘Are you sure you want to kick?’ In which case, any of us would have said, ‘No you idiot! I don’t want to bloody kick!'”
“So where do we go from here?,” I said.
“I left the decision to the MML Board. They need to decide how to handle this situation whenever one of those dumb-ass goblins does this again. Do we reset? Or do we just consider this error to be part of the 50/50 coin flip? As far as our game is concerned, I am completely understanding and will not raise a fuss if the Board decides we should replay it, but they need to make the decision for everyone, for every time this happens, since we only have overtime in important matches.”
“But Coach Sestonn,” I said. “Aren’t you on the Board?”
“I temporarily removed myself so that this decision could be made by unbiased leaders.”
“And what do you have to say to the fans you lost over this whole situation?”
“The only thing I can say. It’s not my fault, but I’m sorry it happened. I’m sorry that I immediately jumped the gun saying I would accept a replay without giving it enough thought. And I’m sorry to Coach Caven08 for the very same thing. Before I gave it significant thought, I was of the mind that a replay was the right thing to do. But the more I thought about it, the more I was sure his was a situation the MML Board should rule on.
“That’s enough questions, Alan. There’s no right answer. This has been horrible. And I need to take a break from it for a little while. Hopefully the Board can come to a reasonable solution and present it in a way that makes this a bit less awful.” He went to turn away, but stopped. “And stress this in your article, Alan. If you are a Dignity fan, a Wrecking kru fan, or even a Blood Bowl fan, push the game developers into hiring better goblin referees! There is no reason for this kind of nonsense!”