The regular season is complete, and Season 3’s League Leaders have finally blossomed into the MML’s first ever Individual Awards! With these Awards on the line in Week 8, several individuals made power plays, while others had more trouble closing than a McMurty’s when the orcs show up after the club.
The sudden and still-unexplained disappearance of The Frozen Thrones’ Varil, who had scored 13 touchdowns by the end of Week 7, left a power vacuum in this category, with several players vying for a League scoring title that had seemed downright impossible to them going into Week 7. When the dust settled, Juken’, of the Skuttle Butts, emerged ahead of the pack by a nose, with 8 TDs on the season. Let rumors of an asterisk by this award be dispelled here and now, as the League policy is clear that you must still be on your team’s roster in the last game of the season in order for your stats to count. Thus, Varil is no more than a ghost and a tale of what could have been.
With Varil out of the picture, Juken’, of the Skuttle Butts, also ran away with the rushing title, becoming only the 2nd player to bust 400 yards running on the season. While his 420 yards are still short of the 430 that Varil had already amassed by the conclusion of Week 7, Juken’ holds the trump card: he’s still around to be crowned S3’s Best Rusher.
Nimphenien who? I told you last week that if that thrower from Thee Grandiose Gladiators didn’t watch out, he was going to get outgunned by the Darvi Bloodwings’ Lilriorn, who passed for 126 yards, 4 more than that other guy we barely remember, in only half the number of games!
Up next, we have a three-way, and not the good kind…it’s all catchers: Zarniss, of the Loren Rockets; Zeshuir, of the Seathiel Treehawks; and Rhasscaeon Aldaloth, of Thee Grandiose Gladiators. They each have 6 catches on the season.
Knob Creek, of Bill COWher Power Hour, is the prototypical brute, with forearms bigger than some beastmen’s legs, knuckles that drag on the ground, and claws that cut through orc armour like skaven cheese…but Week 8 seems to have gotten the best of him, as his team was eliminated from playoff contention, he was unable to knock anyone out, and he was caught from behind in this stat category, at 10 knockouts inflicted, by a skaven, the Skuttle Butts’ Decapitator, with whom he must now share the S3 Biggest Brute award, and whom Mintendo, a minotaur-owned company, ended up selecting instead of him as the face of its new video game, “Decapitor’s Punch-Out!!” Speed kills.
Wade, of Leaping Lizard, absolutely silenced any doubts about who was S3’s Most Violent player, bullying his closest competitor, The Green Tide Titans’ Robshank, around the field in their Week 8 matchup, and finishing the season with 10 casualties inflicted.
As if one serial killer wasn’t enough, the League now has two of them haunting your dreams. If you see either of these players coming, run the other way, fast: Velstadt, Royal Aegis, of The Bell Keepers; and Robshank, of The Green Tide Titans. They each killed 2 players in front of thousands of people this season, and they’re getting an award for it.
In the final week of the regular season, Tordeorn, of the Loren Rockets, and Petr, of Praag no5 team, each successfully intercepted a pass, thereby also intercepting some of the glory that had belonged to Marnast, of Cans wes eats it, for most of S3. With merely 1 interception each, they all share the Best Interceptor award.
BEST PUNCHING BAGS
And our final award also ends in perhaps the most miserable tie yet, involving 4 of the League’s biggest losers. The following players, who have each been knocked out 6 times this season, are either gluttons for punishment, or hated by their coaches, or both: Throne Watcher, of The Bell Keepers; Dilgaliel, of the White Owlz; Hoahex, of The Cold Hard Truth; and Hyper Fang, of the Skuttle Butts.