In what was billed as Bashfest 2016, the Solus Savers, a brand new aggressive Norse team took on the aged franchise the Green Tide Titans. The Titans were coming off the back of a late loss to Hissstory of Violence and looking to get their season back on track and the Solus Savers arrived with a creditable draw against last seasons DVC champs, the Blitzkriegers.
There had been some unusual smack talk prior to this game, with the normally reserved coach Thunden even taking part in what can only be perceived grievances against Coach ChaseJJ’s infamous fouling game. Many coaches have come up against ChaseJJ and left salty after multiple occasions of elbow drops from the boys from the North. However ChaseJJ maintains that everyone has their styles… this is just his. However it certainly ramped up expectations before kick off with famed bully boy Robshank under strict instructions from Coach Thunden not to pile on too much.
Solus Savers welcomed star player, Wilhelm Cheney into their team to bring their Werewolf numbers up to 3. He immediately set about being a nuisance and blitzed before the Titans even managed to start the game. This became a familiar play in the first half as the Norse boys played defensively to screen off against the Titans. Cheney continued to harass the backline and the Orcs just weren’t managing to do much apart from pushing the Savers around. With Big mo behaving himself and the numbers not going in their favour Coach Thunden validated a foul from the sidelines using vulgar body language and sure enough Lineorc Da Dokta went in with the fists on the downed Yhetee… the run up may have given him away and sure enough he was sent off for the remainder of the game. This put the Titans under even more numerical pressure and Cheney managed to dislodge the ball from Gorbag in the backline. This reduced the Titans to going with a ballsy Turn 8 play to get the score before timing ran out… Robshank, not known for his ball handling skills looked to complete a pass to fellow blitzer Ripper Wahrd, to no avail. Old Rhino hands spilled the ball twice and the chance was gone…
Half time 0 – 0
The Titans set up their defense in the 2nd half with only 7 orcs and a troll still standing whilst the Vikings still had 10 players on the pitch. Once again Savers managed to blitz before kick off and Cheney targeted Cliffard on the right wing. A cage was swiftly formed around the Norse runner and all looked set for the next movement down the field. However Funbus who had been feigning injury on the floor leapt up and blitzed the ball carrier with assists from the guard of Big Mo. This gave him a 1 in 6 chance of taking the runner down and a 4 in 6 chance of being an utter pain in Norse behinds. Fortunately for the Titans this was one of the few times where the Orcs managed to smash down the frozen waste wanderer.
There followed some scrappy play where the Norse lost some to the injury bins whilst the Titans lost Gorbag who went to take a nap, robbing them of their main scoring threat. The match seemed destined to meander to a disappointing draw. However suddenly a hole appeared for old rhino hands, Robshank. He snatched up the ball and managed to get it to old pal Ripper Wahrd, on this occasion who stomped off for the end zone. Behind him orcs were throwing themselves in the way of the remaining Solus Savers players, successfully stalling out the game until Ripper dotted down to seal the first season victory for the Titans.
After the game Coach ChaseJJ was notably unhappy about the marking on the normally uncoordinated Robshank and the sheer luck of the block by Oscar nominee (Best Actor in a stunned role), Funbus and stomped off to bemoan the injury to his star Berserker which could impact his future career.
Coach Thunden was understandable chuffed and after offering Chase words of encouragement and a box of Kleenex he had this to say,. “I thought we’d thrown that away after getting caught up in Chases mind games in the first half. We’re not a fouling team and it’s my fault for instructing Da Dokta to get physical. It left us exposed and knocked us out of our stride.
We’re glad to get the win, but we have to improve. We’ve got some tough games coming up and playing like this will not impress Dong… I mean, our opponents. Extra pad work for the team this week and we move on to think about the Flat Earth Angels and Coach Silent Thunder.”
With that he charged off to a raucous dressing room clutching a couple of bottles of Dom Perignorc 65.
The Tide is rising…