The First Chainsaw Riot

The First Chainsaw Riot

by Alan Mittag

I woke to screaming, yelling, running, and the ramshackle hum-grumble of a chainsaw as it ate its way into my room.  I screamed and pulled my blanket to my chest.

Unfen the Looney stood in the new doorway, a silhouette against the bright hallway light behind him.  He held the chainsaw in his hands and lifted it up high, yelling.  “We’re angry!”  And then he was gone, ducking back out into the hall to carve open someone else’s wall.

“What the ….?” I said.

I dressed in a hurry and stuck my head out the goblin sized hole in my wall.  Dozens of goblins were running wild.  “We’re angry!!” Came a yell from my right.  Boom-Boom Kazoom was lighting the wick of one of his bombs with a butane torch. “We’re angry!” he yelled again, kicking open the door to the empty apothecary’s office, chucking his bomb inside, and then pulling the door closed again.  …  ….   …..  BOOM!  The door blew off its hinges, black smoke erupting with it.

“This is crazy!”  I yelled, looking around for a place to hide.

“We’re angry!  We’re Angry!  WE’RE ANGRY!”

The goblins’ voices started to find each other, becoming a chant as they ripped, chainsawed, and bombed the building apart from the inside.

What were they mad about?  Where was Coach Sestonn?  It was his job to keep these little monsters calm.

As I crawled under the bed I realized exactly where Coach Sestonn was.  He was hiding too.

One comment

  1. Week 2, goblins ran out of the tunnel and onto the pitch carrying Alan hogtiedas they angrily chanted “angry” over and over. What’s this about?

Join the Conversation