The Goblin Gambling Journals: Chapter 1 From There to Here

This post is part of the series The Goblin Gambling Journals

Other posts in this series:

  1. The Goblin Gambling Journals: Chapter 1 From There to Here (Current)
  2. The Goblin Gambling Journals: Chapter 2 Kansas City Shuffle
  3. The Goblin Gambling Journals: Chapter 3 Fragile Handle With Care

4-3-17 18:37  The waves slap the side of the wooden boat and tosses the salted water into in the breeze.  Same boat and same shore used to deliver me to Orcatraz.  The sad thing is that Goblin Gambling was behind both moves.  I stepped foot on this sand as their prisoner and now I leave as a trusted employee.  How things have changed over the past 3 seasons.  Oh, you hadn’t figured it out by now?  Take your time and think about it.  Still can’t understand.  I guess I can spell it out to you… I … Work … FOR GOBLIN GAMBLING.  Still don’t understand.  Alright, I’ll tell the story then.

It all started back in season 4.  Everything was going perfect.  The team hadn’t lost in over a season.  We charged into week 6 needing only a draw to lock up playoffs and finally take that next step forward.  But, then GG stepped in.  I was drugged and things got strange.  I began calling myself “Don Jamaica” I was hanging out with skaven in underworld drug dens.  It was all Warpstone and Orcaine… hands full of pills and powders.  Things got out of control.  I was on so many things that it’s surprising that my heart didn’t stop.  I was in no condition to coach and with 2 losses and we fell out of the playoffs… Then in the Bloodweiser Bowl a dark elf went invisible.  Hard to tell is this was one of Gaesmal’s tricks or more of GG’s nefarious plans.  What is know is that things went from great to gritty.  I was chained and placed on a boat and taken East.

Locked up on the rocky island of Orcatraz.  Season 5 was a mess.  My life was at risk on a daily basis.  Orc prison is no place for a chaos coach.  Orcatraz wasn’t ran by goblin gambling.  It didn’t need to be.  They simply tossed me into the fire until the heat got to hot.  They used Orcatraz to break me.  They put me in the shark tank then started dumping blood in.  If it wasn’t for an old Black Orc named Morg’lil showing me a bit of kindness, I would have been dead.  But, Goblin Gambling had other plans.  They came to me before anyone got around to killing me.  They sent sleazy little 3 armed goblin named Kron Flex in with an offer for me.   He looks at me with a slightly crooked left eye and informs me that they know about the Ratlings plans to break me out.  He says I have to make a choice.  I can either work for them and they will allow me to be broken out.  If I didn’t do that they promised that they would stop the escape attempt and I’d be locked up forever.  Then they would kill the all the Ratlings for attempting to break me out.  Then they would kill all the Power Hour players.  Then they would kill another random MML team just because they can.

Not really sure I had much choice.  They placed me in a situation where I didn’t control anything and then presented me with an impossible choice.  That is when I began my employment with Goblin Gambling.  At first I didn’t hear anything from GG.  Weeks went by and nothing.  I was constantly looking over my shoulder worried about who was watching me or who might be following me. Then after our Season 6 loss to the Titans, Kron Flex payed me another visit.  He informed me that GG would give me something.  He said they would give me a taste of their power.  GG would put me in the Playoffs and even fix it so that Leaping Lizards would face me in round 1.  They always knew what a person wanted.  They would show up either when you were at your weakest.  But, then it happened.  Somehow the Power Hour made playoffs and faced the Leaping Lizards.  Goblin Gambling even went so far as to pay for the finest wizard that could be found and bribed the Lizards star player into faking an injury early.  It felt great to finally make playoffs and taste a bit of that success.  But, we came up short and had to watch the high elves take the championship.  But, that didn’t come for free.  Kron had a “big” job for me.

Season 7 Kron started to stop by more frequently.  He’d ask me to gameplan to hurt a team bad or sometimes target a player.  Sometimes he wouldn’t even ask me.  Twice he went straight to Carbomb and ordered hits on opponents.  We became more violent.  More bashy.  We became a Goblin Gambling hit squad.  They would circle a player’s name and we’d go out and break them.  Most fans loved the hitting.  Most got caught up in the hype.  People jumped on the bandwagon.  But, the numbers didn’t lie.  Cleaver coaches started to figure out what was going on.  Goblin Gambling didn’t like that.  Knowing Fnord was involved with the analytics they ordered a full team hit on the Walking Dead Reanimated.  It was the most violent game my team had ever played.  But, when Kron visited me after the game he wasn’t pleased.  He said we didn’t do enough.  He told me they would show me what they expected.  I wasn’t really sure what that meant.  But, I found out soon enough.  My team was dismantled by Necro Feel-Ya.  They killed 3 players but, the APO was able to save one of them.  Goblin Gambling then turned their attention back onto the Walking Dead.  Walking Dead suffered another round of damage in their bowl game.

You understand a bit better now?  Did the story help?  Well, if you re still confused that’s alright.  This is just the start.  But, Maybe now you’ll open your eyes a bit more.  This world is a larger place than you know and sometimes things aren’t always how they seem to be.

Continue reading this series:


  1. I’m in shock… but excellent storytelling! I can’t wait for the next installment.

  2. I just hope GG will ignore me if I ignore them. Head in the sand is always the best policy, right?

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