The Goblin Gambling Journals: Chapter 6 A Hero’s Welcome

This post is part of the series The Goblin Gambling Journals

Other posts in this series:

  1. The Goblin Gambling Journals: Chapter 1 From There to Here
  2. The Goblin Gambling Journals: Chapter 2 Kansas City Shuffle
  3. The Goblin Gambling Journals: Chapter 3 Fragile Handle With Care

Season 8 was in the books after my team took a beating from the Harrelsons that let them feeling like a Tex crotch punch.  But, the painful ache of both was starting to go away with time.  The trip to the GGUWL offices was not a fast one.  It was only made longer with my travel companions pension for belching in my face and occasional hair greying flatulence.  Big Mo was a troll that was best taken in small douses.  I was on full overload after day 2.  Nothing would have made me happier than to have left him on the side of the road… but, since he was the reason for the trip that wasn’t an option.

The wagon pulled up to a hole in the side of a rock face. The driver blew a horn loudly then motioned us to go in and then kicked his feet up and produced a chunk of warpstone from his pouch.  Was by some miracle that we made it at all with a driver cooked up on that stuff 24/7.

The cave opening was just big enough for Mo to get thru.  Torched lined the walls that slowly widened till we could walk side by side.

“Mo, I don’t honestly know what is waiting for us down here.  But, just know i never meant you any harm.  I mean yeah, I did have you shot in the head… but, that was it.  Well, that and got you hooked on warp… but that is all.  Well, and took you from your team and led you down to some hole in the butt crack of the earth where we might both be killed.  But, that is all.”

Mo slowly looks over to me… smiles and the burps once more in my face.  Then walks ahead.  toward a light in the distance.  The tunnel began to shrink again… to the point that Mo was directly in from of me.  With one foul blast my life could have been snuffed out.  As we approached the light a rumbling began.  At first it was a low growl but, slowly became louder and louder.  The sound became unbearable.

Mo emerged from the small crevice into a large chamber.  He was bathed in the light of a thousand torches and the walls glowed green with rich warpstone deposits.  A large crowd had assembled below.  Many had signs with Big Mo written on them.  Some of them even had his name spelled right.  I was standing in the great shadow of the troll and could almost see the arms of the community as they wrapped around him with celebration.

I was quickly pulled from the shadow and drug buy a clawed hand down a staircase.  The smell of cheese and wet fur tipped me that this was a skaven creature.  I was pulled into a small chamber away from the celebration.  I was tossed into a chair and chain down. Across from me as a muscular goblin in a suit.  Over his right eye he was wearing a monocle.  It was a strange sight to see… but the seriousness of the situation kept me from finding humor in it.

“I am Leno-Lumin,” He spoke with measured tones.

“You are More_Shots, you are my puppet.  I pull your stings and you dance.  I put on in Orcatraz and I took you out of Orcatraz.  But, you have proved your worth and shown you can be trusted with difficult tasks… when given the correct information.”

He opens a desk drawer. “You should meet Snicker-Clip!” He pulls up the severed head of goblin.  “Don’t be rude Snicker, has hello!”
Leno uses his hands to move the heads mouth as he makes a high pitched voice for it. “Hello Shots.  I’m sorry I told people the wrong thing.  I just needed more stone and I lied to get it.  You shouldn’t lie!  Cause IF YOU LIE… VERY BAD THINGS HAPPEN.”

Leno’s voice returns, “Say goodbye Snicker.”

Snicker’s voice, “Bye bye.”

“See when people lie to me they get twice as much punishment.  But, you didn’t know that… and now you do know that.  So, now I’ll ask you a question.”  He paused for an uncomfortably long time.

“Where…are… the …elves?”


A confused look crosses my face, “What elves?”

” ALL THE ELVES!!!  Every time we get near they disappear.  The past 4 league where plump with them.  We move in and then POOF.  It’s all Orcs, Dwarves, Lizards and Chaos.  We don’t need them.  We just need enough of them to keep the elves in line so we can capture them.  That’s what SOL was going to do.  But Snicker screwed that all up!  Now they are gone.” Leno seemed to be building himself to a boil with his monolog

“Well many of the coaches are being recruited to other races after they have their success with elves. Coaches are being paid more by Chaos Dwarves and Orcs lately.  Many of the teams are going into a retirement area.  I hear it’s very nice.  They play friendly games every now and then for the fans as an exhibition of the old times.” I responded hoping to satisfy his question.

“The MML had the greatest elves in the land.  Dignity, The Treehawks, Princes of Arioch, Stop Rolling ones and even the Holy Rollers… White Owls and Leaf Dancers… More than can be named!!! That is why we moved in!  To get the elves.  The MML is useless to us till the elves come back.  We had a lead on an elf team in a small halfling village called Highden Stills.  You will go there and find out what happen to the Wandering Woodies.  If we can track them down we may be able to get them to give us info on where the rest have gone.  Good idea aye?”

Snicker voice, “Great idea boss great idea.”

Leno, “Now get out of here!”

I replied, “I can’t, I’m chained to the chair.”

“Scraggle unchain him and show him out.  He is not to be seen by anyone.  Heck put a bag over his head to make sure.” Leno ordered

A cloth bag was forced over my head.  My face began to itch instantly.  The bag must have been half filled with skaven fur.  The chains taken from me and i was whisked away out some back entrance.

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