You might be wondering how some blood could start everything, let me educate you.
Me and my co-coach ‘Gio’, or so he told everyone that was his name, were on an adventure to find something no one has ever done before. Something so radical and cool that everyone would look to us and be amazed at what we had found. We would change bloodbowl history and write our names into the books. This adventure took us to the isle of Lustria…
The forests were a mean place to traverse, but after a whole year dodging skink darts and raptor Jaws we came across a secret village, no, more of a town. We got surrounded and captured by these women with very little clothes if any. They took us to there queen in the middle of the giant ancient pyramid thing. She demanded us to state why we were there and how we came across there secret place. Me and Gio looked at each other using non existent telepathy to communicate with each other. We stared into each others eyes, I swear he was wearing Kemrian eyelashes that day but that is another discussion for another day. Then we looked at the queen, and we both said… completely different things. I told them the truth about searching for a most excellent bloodbowl team whilst Mr Gio told them we were wine tasters, searching for only the best.
Luckily, after some quiet discussions they agreed to give us both a bloodbowl team and let us taste some sacred wine. However, with two conditions. One condition was we had to help continue there Amazonian legacy in bloodbowl, which we couldn’t fail because there was no legacy to everyone else. The second condition was we must help daily collect Puma Blood for a sacred drink that they make. We agreed seeing as this was an amazing deal, much more pleasing then the alternative of being fed to the crocodiles. We made our plans to start a most glorious team, helping out where we could, getting on there good side. Then 1 year into training and preparation and integrating into there society, we even became more women like, the queen finally let us have there secret Puma blood wine.
Unfortunately, the day before we had heard of the great Mead and Mayhem league looking for participants. So when we were forming the team to enter, Gio and I had a disagreement. He wanted 2 throwers in the squad, but that was not needed and too much team value for the MML to enter. Gio ended up storming out and I haven’t seen him since. But i wasn’t going to let a breakup stop me from becoming great. I accepted that wine and drank it to the very last drop.
Afterwards, I went unconscious waking up several weeks later surrounded by women laying besides me. I looked at myself. My chest was bigger, my bottom seemed more curvy then before. Was it true. Was it a dream. It had too be, everything felt so real. I walked outside, where I was quickly given clothes to match all the women around me.
The queen summoned me to her chambers and explained to me how I had to be a women to fully become one of them. So she had given me the wine in order to change. No one knew if it would work if I could survive the ordeal, but they were happy that I did. They still, daily did there training and practice in the arts of bloodbowl so were ready for the start of something knew. In honor of there queen and there tradition, or my queen now and my tradition, I called the team – The Amazonican Pumas. They were honored and were ready to make the world know that the Pumas were coming to bloodbowl and I finally got my dream of coaching a bloodbowl team so cool that I would write my name in history, alongside the now traitorous Gio who was still a mystery on where he went.