“Derek… this is getting all too familiar…
Here we are again before the start of another season and we’re talking about a massive failed playoff push. I’m beginning to think I have taken the Titans as far as I can do… is it time for a new coach to step in? These will be questions I will ask myself this season. I mean… bloody hell Big Mo is still around!!!”
With those words, Coach Thunden sloped his way off to review Cabal Captures of his upcoming opponents in Season 6 in the pristine viewing hi tech viewing tower the Titans overspent on last season.
For those who don’t know… the Titans once again got turned over by Wood elves in the playoffs, losing 3-0 again even after investing in intensive tackle training for 4 of their players. What’s a coach to do? Self obsess apparently!
I’ve been left alone recently in the Orc2 training field… whereas usually I’d have been boisterously pushed around by this hilarious bunch of greenskin goofs (sarcasm mode off). They have been noticeably absent… in fact there have been no signs of life here in the off season. The twitching corpses of the strange cat/monkey creatures impaled around the ground the only sign that there was something going on here a couple of weeks ago.
Big Mo was for the chopping block at the end of last season, it was the worst kept secret in the league. Yet somehow the abattoir trucks that were outside the stadium have now vanished and the word on the grapevine is that with Cliffard out injured, Mo has once again earnt himself a reprieve!
This reporter for one, wonders how long it will be before a wounded and hurting coach looks at these remarkable coincidences that have prolonged the trolls Titans career and starts putting 2 + 2 together and making 5. Could Big Mo have something to do with the terrible fortunes in post season? This is the MML after all…
No transfers brought in during the close season means it’s very much the same Titans line up that faces the new play pool. Skaven, Orcs, Undead and previous champions the Pumas will make for new propositions from the usual diet of Lizards and Dorfs. Add to that another highly impressive Dark Elf team in the Coven coming into town and that’s one hell of a tough playpool for S6.
Rodentia Ad Nauseum – the first rat team the Titans will have faced since Season 1. Word on the inside hears mention of the Grunt tactic… #KillBoxWin when mentioning this opening game of the season.
Los Pumas – the human champions of Season 4. This could be an instant classic. The Pumas have had their troubles recently with the loss of the One Turn Wonder Conor McGregor but they have more than enough in the bank to trouble the Tide. Expect their big, bad blitzer to be targeted early doors.
Blitzkriegers – managed by the ever aggressive Stuntmandidi, the last two seasons have seen end of season games which have been a little lacklustre due to league positions being fixed. This time round it’s the key week 3 game. Expect this one to finally sparkle into life!
Bill COWher Power Hour – a frequent foe… last seasons revenge match swung heavily in the Titans favour and meant misery for schizophrenic coach More_Shots, will the orcs be as fortunate this year? The Power Hour have rebuilt bigger, badderer, strongerer… Nuffle will favour one of them.
Witches Coven – last seasons fellow playoff contestants join the DVC playpool and they’ve been busy in the close season, having recruited a ridiculous lineman who has been telling everyone he’s not afraid of the bashy teams.
Walking Dead Reanimated – a hunter trio of mummy killers have already been nominated from the down hearted orcs, they will be tasked with the unenviable job of flooring these behemoths. The rest of the Walking Dead will be earmarked for punishment. They get knocked down, but they get up again…
Yate Yobz – finally another Orcish team to play with in the East!!! The Yobz have blazed a trail since coming to the MML. Some serious players in that team will mean a gruelling match between the two Eastern greenies in the last game of the season.
DVC/SCC – Pool of Death
DW signing off!