Hello MMLPro fans, League Apothecary More_Shots here we are heading into week 8 and here is your injury update. With 5 deaths this week and increases in injuries this season the league is looking into making rules against “kill” teams. In a closed door meeting high ranking coaches talked about the issue and rumors are that the league “Doesn’t have a kill team issue at this time” and that “We will be watching for it.” As league APO this increase has been most profitable for me and I welcome the overtime pay.
INJURED, Lineman Ratty Ratty Piper for Mauz
INJURED, Skink Qlamiq-shi for The Cold Hard Truth
INJURED, Long Beard Stanley for Praag No5 Team
INJURED, Lineman Belarithra for White Owlz
INJURED, Skink Torpedorapator for TMNL
INJURED, Saurus Killmono Dragon for TMNL
INJURED, Lineman Gaesmal for The Blitzkriegers
INJURED, Saurus Oatlatl for Reptile Dysfunction
INJURED, Lineman Marbaire for Darvi Bloodwings
INJURED, Lineman Morkzog for Wrecking Kru
INJURED, Black Orc Braduk Break’Throat for Wrecking Kru
INJURED, Blitzer Sweetn Sowa for Pork Attack
INJURED, Lineman Morkgob for New Orcland Grunts
(Puts the needle onto an old dusty record player)
*Bob Dylan– Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door plays softly*
Many of our regular readers will recall in the Week 4 report this season I reported of Eldril Sidewinder potential death during a Rockets game. Since then he has been seen alive and in good health. This week we have another report of Star Player elf faking his death to avoid having to finish a game. Willow was playing on the White Owlz and we at the league apothecary offices believe he also faked his death, We have evidence that his check for the game was cashed the next day and that he has been photographed on a sunny beach drinking boat drinks and playing volleyball with witch elves. So, be careful when you hire these “Star Players” they can’t be trusted.
Star Player Willow: Deceased (Maybe)
Mauz Lineman Rodent Bently: Deceased
Reptile Dysfuntion Saurus Goqtoc of Despair: Deceased
Gottleib Gladiators Catcher Mikael Vogin Jr.: Deceased
Loren Rocket Lineman Lothanfel: Deceased
My condolences go out to all coaches who have lost players this week in the MMLPro, Challenge, and Farm. We play a violent game and this is the price we all play for the opportunity to taste sweet victory and achieve fame and glory in the MML.
As always, I’ve got a shot for ya,