Wrecking Kru Defrock Holy Rollers

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to another edition of OSPN, I’m Harry Gobbo, bringing you the latest on YOUR Wrecking Kru! The boys got back on the good side of things after the draw with the Grunts by stopping Nuffle’s Holy Rollers by a 2-0 score. It was never really a contest, thanks to the great Orc god Grumpsh, and that fickle deity Nuffle! One would think he would give his own followers an edge, but apparently he favors the Greenskins! Without any more delay, let’s go to Coach Caven in the Kru locker room!

Coach Caven, how are the boys following this rather easy victory?

“Well, Harry, it’s not like we didn’t expect it. The High Elves seemed intimidated from the start. In fact, they didn’t even schedule our match until hours before the kickoff. Luckily, we knew where it would be held, thanks to the unbalanced schedule, so we just camped outside their stadium and waited for them to show up. It was a little funny seeing their faces when they came onto their own field and we were already warming up! I think they hoped for a concession win by not scheduling with us earlier in the week! Once we kicked the ball, it was apparent it would be our day. Their blitzer failed to dodge away from one of our blitzers, and that was the beginning of the end for them. They had a difficult time staying on the pitch. Takru really took it to them. I believe we had a numbers advantage almost from the start. I believe their thrower even faked an injury in order to stay on the sideline. The only good thing that happened for them, aside from knocking Takru out of the game with a dirty foul, was stopping Graoth in the final minutes from adding a third touchdown. I am not sure what they did to anger Nuffle, but they better find the answer very soon if they want to be competitive. Nuffle was NOT kind to them in the least in our match. To answer your question, the boys are healthy, and ready for their next match.”

Wrecking Kru currently sit on top of the Iron League/Dungeon West play pool. Do you expect to win this pool now?

“Harry, we still have three matches to go. We are sitting in a good spot, but we face a team in Just Norsin’ Around that can surprise you if you aren’t prepared. Just ask Coach Preach and New Orcland Grunts. The Norsemen beat them 1-0 last week, and killed Leeroy Jenkins in the process. After that, we face a tough Brettonian team, and finish with the surprise Skaven side. The PieRats could very well be the team to beat. However, we are confident that we will maintain our momentum, and make the playoffs. In fact, with a win over the Norsemen, and draws in the other three games this week in the play pool, we can clinch a playoff spot. So, yes, we expect to win it, or at least get in to the post season.”

You mentioned the death of Leeroy Jenkins. How are the Kru handling that?

“Well, we feel for the Grunts, to be certain. No team likes, nor can afford, to lose one of their top players. Jenkins did some special things for the Grunts, but now he sleeps with the fishes. We only hope he accepted the great Orc god Grumpsh before his passing.”

Rumors have popped up around the league that the Wrecking Kru will be retiring after this season. Is this true?

“Harry, I have no idea who started that or why! The Wrecking Kru are in their prime! We are only in our fourth season as a team! We feel like we have plenty of wins yet to come, and our goal is to add another MML championship to our trophy cabinet. We aren’t going anywhere!”

Coach, what is the plan against the Norsemen?

“Hit them harder and more often than they hit us. Bottom line. We feel we can be much more physical than they can, we just need to be mindful of the sidelines and their Yhetee. He can be a danger with that claw of his. Other than that, we feel we match up pretty well with them. If that doesn’t work, we will just stomp any Norseman we see lying prone on the pitch!”

Coach, nothing has been said about you having two teams in the top positions of both Pro and Challenge League of the MML. Can you explain?

“Probably because it doesn’t matter. Who cares about the Challenge League? I only volunteered to coach that High Elf side because the League needed someone to do it. They mean nothing to me. Mainly because they are Elves, but also because they only face Human or Norse or Elf sides in that particular play pool. That isn’t even real Blood Bowl! I mean, where are the Orcs, Chaos and Undead? The real heavy hitters? Even a dwarf side could prosper in that pool. Ok, maybe not the dwarves. They are short, smell bad and have bad hair. Nobody likes them. Even dwarves hate dwarves. It’s also a non-issue because it is me. If it were a member of the Coaches Board, it would be headline news. They would be hash tagging the good old boys network day and night. As you know, I am not a part of that network, and so things like that don’t get mentioned. Which is fine, because I just want to focus on the Kru and our playoff run.”

The Kru will be playing their fourth straight road match, before returning home for Mousillon Morningstars. How is the morale of the team?

“We are great! We have picked up seven of nine possible points, and look to garner another three in two days. What could be better than that? We have remained healthy, while racking up some nice stats, and our kill rate has gone up. We relish the road warrior mentality!”

Coach, one final question before we go. Would the team ever consider hiring another Troll to add some more muscle to the team?

“Did Stonepuke ask you to ask that? We are NOT hiring him back! I have had all I can take of that lazy bag of manure. The only good thing he ever did for this team was die on the pitch, but then he screwed that up by regenerating! I mean, what does it take to be rid of that guy?”

Well, folks, there you have it! Another edition, although brief, of the Wrecking Kru here on Orc Sports Programming Network! We hope you will tune in live on Thursday night as the Kru face Just Norsin’ Around in an important match for both sides. Let’s hope our Kru can continue their winning ways! This is Harry Gobbo saying so long, and we will see you next time!

 

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