Wyrd Science

Coach Cav bounced up to the Athloren Arrows training ground, engrossed in his post season notes he didn’t look up. “Well it wasn’t a bad season, but not great either, so we can build on that…” He glanced around. The training ground was empty, all but a whistling groundsman with a broom. “Where are all the elves? Wheres is my team?” The coach waved to get the old elfs attention. Then wandered over, slightly startling the fellow who was engrossed in his duties.

“Ah, didn’t tell you I suppose. Festival of Orion. They will be absent until the new moon. Celebrating. Mushrooms. Booze, that kind of thing” He whistled and continued the sweep-sweep of the stands. While the confused coach crunched calculations.

“Hey thats a whole season! What am I supposed to do with no team?!” Balling his notes into a fist he punted the paper missile through the posts with frustration. No team meant no season, and no paying off his medical debts. This would not do, maybe the Vanquishers would let him back, no that was a bad idea. Maybe the young elves? No they’d all get dead. Scratching his head, he knew he would have to brave one of the Farm teams looking for coaches…

The wooden notice board creaked in the wind, as the rain pelted the crowd of coaches scanning it for teams. The pieces of parchment fluttering wildly, as an orc coach puffed a cigar then pulled a bunch off. Followed by what looked like a Bretonian noble with a tatty long coat. Coach Cav finally muscled his way to the board and squinted. Ink on most of them now starting to run in the rain. A rumble of thunder made the gaggle of coaches jump.

‘WANTED! Open minded coach who enjoys experimental plays! Free Health Insurance! Free Meals! Race: …nsinsi…’ The last part soaked through. Cav shrugged, he preferred coaching elves, and I mean it could be elves, but the free health insurance was a no brainer. Plucking it off he double checked the address and pulled up his collar to protect from the growing tempest. Another crack of lightning signaled he had to go. A new team would need time to get Challenge League ready.

A smelly and uncomfortable coach ride later, he arrived at a dark-dark house at the end of a dark-dark road, with the storm still throwing the elements at him. “This cannot be good…”he muttered, as he rapped the bronze knocker on the gnarled wooden door. It felt like an age before some one answered. The slit snapping open, wild eyes peering at the soaked coach. “No visitors!”. The slit closed abruptly.


“I said no vis…” But the coach rammed the ad through the slit. “New coach, let me in before I get hit by lightning.”

There was a long pause. Several locks released and the door opened. A gaunt wiry man in an ill fitting suit waved him in. “This way, mistress will be pleased. She will receive you in the lab I expect, most busy she is…most busy…”. Coach was ushered through the old house, which looked like in its day it might have been quite grand. Past the library and to a door that opened up into a spiral staircase descending down into the gloom. A timely flash of lightning nudged the coach that this may be a bit cliché. Still, he needed a team thanks to elves and their freaking festivals. The stairs felt like they went on forever. Maybe they were just enchanted, who knew. But the Coach was not quite prepared for what waited for him at the bottom.

“Good evening. ” Her voice like velvet soaked in fresh poison. Paired with beauty that defied the laws of nature, like it was too perfect, yet mesmerizing all the same. “I’m Leesa, and you are my new Coach.” Her eyes crackled, or was it just the weird light of the…where was he?

“Don’t mind the mess, its a working laboratory. ” She casually kicked a few bones with her heel, a wry smile snaked across ghost white skin. Blood red lips revealing slightly sharpened teeth. Black locks tied back in a severe pony tail contrasted with the white over coat, smeared with who knows what.

“I’m sorry, there must be a mistake, I only coach elves, and where is the team anyway?” Cav turned to go back up the stairs and see if the stage coach had departed. He was halted by the slow wet sounds of muffled sobbing. Looking back the woman was curled up on her chair hands to her face, shoulders shaking. “I’m a maverick, a pioneer…” she mumbled. ” They all turn away. They weren’t ready for my brilliance. ” Her crying progressed into wailing, then banging of fists on the cluttered table, papers flying off in all directions. Cav sighed, and turned back around. “Ok, what do you have.” At once she ceased crying and spun to her feet with grace and a menacing grin. “Good. This way. ” She gestured, and yanked a lever on the wall.

Cogs complained as the wall opened up to reveal a spacious room with rows of tables. Each one over crowded with wires, and bubbling tubes of mysterious liquids. All seemed to be linked to a monstrous central mechanism, that hissed and growled with industrious intent. Arcs of green and blue energy flickered off it, and through the wires and tubes to the tables. Which the coach now noticed were occupied.

“Oh really. I’m an elf coach, I can’t do anything with…” But his words were kidnapped by her electrifying gaze that shocked his train of thought into oblivion.

“Oh but dear coach, you WILL be able to do anything with these. ” Hysterical laughter bounced around the room. “Apologies, I enjoy a bit of the theatrical. But let me show you.” Leesa pulled open the front door of the contraption. A sickly green glow pulsed out from it.

“Sigmars big hairy beard! That’s enough wyrdstone to bring about the end times, are you insane?”

Leesa’s mood darkened. The corners of the room seemed to close in on the coach, as the womans eyes flared with barely restrained ethereal energy. “You know the last one to use that word…well, he will be on the line of scrimmage…so you can see his fate. But yes, it is wyrdstone, and that reminds me my shipment from Mordheim is late. ” She snapped her fingers at the man servant, who scurried away.

“So my team is a bunch of dead players reanimated by wyrdstone?” Cav rubbed his neck nervously. Wow why was it hard to breath.

“Well yes and no, there is a lot more to it than that, but details darling. Details. I just need you and the team to provide me with a few extra parts, I mean players… Players. Ahem. ” She clicked her neck and appeared to pull her skin tight like one might adjust ones clothes. “I mean, i’ve acquired some fine players, this one used to be an elf journey man, and this one is half dwarf and half skink – think of the possibilities!”

They were interrupted by a dull thud under their feet, followed by another and then another. The floor boards bulking with each impact. Then low growling and snarling followed by what sounded like angry scratching. “Ah yes, time to take the dog for a bite to eat. Well we are delighted to have you on board coach, ive set up a few games for you to get the team upto speed. Do see yourself out. ”

“This is so weird. ” He whispered.

“Yes it is. Its Wyrd Science darling. ” She shrieked with laughter and opened the trap door…




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