YDSMH: Home Improvement

This post is part of the series YDSMH

The dirt wagon pulled up to the back entrance of the You Didn’t See Me Here home field known as “The Stump” and the elves started to unload their gear.  Most teams had heavy armor and weapons that travel with them on away games.  Wood elves aren’t burdened by armor or secret weapons.  No, they instead traveled with trinkets for good luck and other strange objects of mystery.  Each player tending to their own stuff and quickly storing it in their home locker.

The players seemed gloomy for having just returned from a win.  An especially grumpy wardancer with a corner locker sat on a stool and scanned his teammates faces.   Everyone seemed busy going about their tasks.

A catcher was stashing his “Bounce High Wizard Orbs” collection into the back of his locker as the other catcher was using a sharp rock to carve a line in the side of his locker.  The locker began to look like strange displays of junk.  One with a burlap bag with a piece of twine holding the top closed.  A different locker with a glass jar full of some strange green gel.  Another with a spiked chain from a saw.  Bag of stuff here and there, jars of junk scattered about…

The wardancer stands up and walks out of the locker room and down the long winding tunnel to the field.  The coach is standing at midfield.

“Hey, Stoli! Come over here I got something to show you!” More Shot calls out to the wardancer.

The wardancer scowls and makes his way over.

Shots continues “See Stoli, over there in that area we are gonna put up more stands.  Fans will be everywhere in here soon…  and each sideline will soon get a big beer cart so we can all get drunk during the game on Bloodweiser.  It’s gonna be great!  Just like the old times.”

“Coach, my name is Hickory.  You don’t coach the Power Hour anymore.  You might have been an alright Chaos coach… But, you have a lot to learn about coaching elves.  You almost got Bonsai killed in the first game and now he hates you.  You keep calling the players the wrong names and they really don’t like that.  I think we might have made a mistake when we sent Monkey Mouth to try to get you to coach us.  We wanted a chance to play in the league and figured our only hope would be to get an established coach.  We tried for a few other coaches but, didn’t have any luck… they all had teams already.” Hickory pause to let his words sink in then continued, “You might want to stop thinking so much about what you want and what you like and start thinking about what is best for the team.  We drink wine, not beer.  We don’t want or need a beer cart.  So, don’t waste what little money we have on stuff we don’t need.”

Hickory walks back to the locker room tunnel leaving the coach alone again in the empty stadium.

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