Hello MML fans, once again Harry Gobbo reporting to you from OSPN, this time on the road touring the Eastern Division stadiums! What many call the “junior circuit”, the Eastern Division is not full of lustrous homes as is its counterpart. In fact, many of the stadiums we will visit are no better than those found on the Farm! However, this is the Pro level, and we must complete our circuit of the MML home fields of the Eastern Division. After leaving the level 4 palace that is Grandiose Majesty, you will not see stadiums as big or state-of-the-art here in the East.
Snoti Stadium- Home field of Da Green Fist, an Orc team looking for validation, this pitiful excuse of a field starts our tour. Orcidas has sponsored it, probably out of loyalty to the OneTribe. The level 1 field has no enhancements, and indeed has a fan factor of 0. Many ask if this is a real team, or a front for a nefarious Orc plot to take over the league?
The Angel Dome- The Flat Earth Angels, a Chaos team, call this dumpster home. This level 1 field has no enhancements, a fan factor of 3 and is sponsored by Guild of Bandits and Affiliated Trade. That is a fitting sponsor for a place inhabited by cutthroats and purse thieves. There are orphanages that are in better shape than this place.
The Blitz Field- The Dark Elf side The Blitzkriegers call this shameful plot of land home. This level 1 stadium, if one can call it that, has no enhancements and a fan factor of 5. Goblin Gambling proudly sponsors this dive, probably due to the joking nature of these Dark Elves. Like their recent dictionary of Blood Bowl terms, this field is a joke!
Strahov- Praag No. 5 Team, an odd dwarf side, call this place home field. Bloodweiser sponsors them, because they are dwarves, but the level 1 field has no enhancements and a fan factor of 6. The most exciting thing you will see here is when the fans leave the field after a match, happy to be going anywhere else but here!
Bliss- Home field of Solus Savers, a Norse team with an odd sense of happiness. This level 1 pitch is sponsored by the Guild of Bandits and Affiliated Trade, but has no enhancements and a fan factor of 6. You know the old saying, “If ignorance is Bliss, there must be a Norseman nearby!”
Rainbow Glade- The Wood Elf side, Leaf Dancers, call this open field home. This level 1 field has no sponsor, no enhancements and a fan factor of 7. One must be counting the cows and sheep in order to get this number, but as long as they are watching the fragile fellows play, I guess you can call them fans!
White Forest- The White Owlz, another Wood Elf team, reside in this miserable excuse of a field. This level 1 pitch has McMurty’s as a sponsor, but no enhancements and a fan factor of 7 keep it on the lower tier of playable spaces in the MML. It resembles more of a schoolyard than a blood bowl pitch, but the Woodies are rather eccentric.
Pit of Pestilence- Rodentia Ad Nauseam play their home games here. This obscure Skaven side is as listless as their level 1 pitch. They have no sponsor, no enhancements and a fan factor of 8, which is probably due to the multitude of young that skaven wenches bear during the mating season!
Jurassic Park- The only stadium in the MML to house two teams, this level 1 field looks like a dinner table after a dwarven feast! The Lizardman teams TMNL and Hissstory of Violence share this pitiful pitch for home games. Hissstory is sponsored by Goblin Gambling, while TMNL is sponsored by Orcidas, which is interesting considering they claim to “hate Orcs”. Hissstory of Violence claims a fan factor of 8, while their TMNL counterparts boast a fan factor of 9. It is rather entertaining watching the ground crews change sigils and sponsorship signs when both teams have a home game, but other than that, not much goes on here.
The Graveyard- Los Pumas, the only Human side in the MML, play their home games here. Spike Magazine sponsors this level 1 stadium, if one can call it that. There are no enhancements here, and their fan factor of 9 begs the question of “Where does the money go?”. The humans often claim to be superior to other races, but in this endeavor, they are clearly lacking.
The Orc2- This oddly named stadium belongs to The Green Tide Titans, an Orc side with a painful history. The best of the East’s level 1 stadiums, it is sponsored by Parstowne XIII, a skaven company, which is ironic as the Titans are usually hard pressed by the Skaven teams they face. There are no enhancements here, but the Titans are the most popular team in the league with a hefty fan factor of 10!
YOSC- Another oddly named edifice, this level 2 stadium houses the Orc team called Yate Yobz 2.3. Everything about this place is non-standard, from its name to its non-enhanced pitch. Orcidas sponsors this field, but only the greenskin chieftans can tell anyone why. It is, however, one of the top fields in the East, so at least there is that.
Mayhem Bowl- The Leaping Lizards, a lizardman team, belongs in this level 2 stadium on game day. The name suits it, as sponsor Parstowne XIII refuses to add any enhancements, but packs in as many fans as possible on match day. Their fan factor of 10 is matched only by the above Orc side, but mayhem often ensues when a team comes calling on the Leaping Lizards.
Stadiwm Y Mileniwm- The Dwarf team Methyr Shock N ‘Ore play here. This level 2 pitch is sponsored by Bloodweiser, and is enhanced with a Referee Rest Area, the only one of its kind in the league! Of course, this allows for many unsightly fans or teams to bribe the referees, so anything goes when the Shock N ‘Ore are playing! Their fan factor of 5 leaves something to be desired, but the shenanigans during a match balance out the deficit.
Granite Dome- This is the cream of the crop in the East, and belongs to the Granite City Grimbeards. This dwarf team has managed to erect a level 2 stadium that has the dwarven contribution to pitches, astrogranite, as its playing surface. The player falling while going for it will certainly feel the pain. Sponsor Bloodweiser has managed to get the top two stadiums in the East, but the fan factor of 9 help this one tip the scales as the best stadium in the East!
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen! A complete tour of the homes of the Eastern Division, and one can only say we are definitely on the lower side of town when we visit the East. The West has far outclassed the East, which was probably a contributing factor in Season 3 playoffs, where the West swept the East, 4-0, in playoff matches. Indeed, the West houses the best teams in the best stadiums! The East has some explaining to do to the MML on where the stadium improvements funds go. We hope you have enjoyed this little tour, and that we have provided you with some great information as you travel the world during Season 4! For OSPN, this is Harry Gobbo signing off, and remember, if it is fit to print, you won’t find it here!