Four weeks down and all is going surprisingly well down at Broken Bridge Falls.
Three wins, three “Broken Things” and a hefty fine avoided by settling their feud with title sponsor, Godzilla Glue (subsidiary of GAPS).
The last week hasn’t been without it’s tribulations though, with a sound beating being received at the hands of the Coach Hawca and his Slayers.
This was thanks, in some part to an acute dip in form for the big guy, Kahlua but finding a few more of those skulls than we’ve endured in the earlier weeks fixtures certainly didn’t help.
It does mean I guess, that we know who will be in the mascot costume next week! If they can fit him into it that is. Nothing to inspire a pick up in form like a half time beating by a bunch of little skinks armed with Bam Bam Bats, eh?
Kaa will be delighted to have a week off from the role (11 games, 0spp) as he’s still in the infirmary recovering from becoming our third “Broken Thing” but no doubt he’ll be back in there come week 6.
Despite the set-back fans, there no need to despair, as today the club have released a statement which is sure to add a smile to your faces. At bare minimum tongues, or should we say tails will be wagging as this news spreads around the fanbase.
So lets cut to the chase, time to let the cat (or should we say Lizard) out of the bag. So here it is, the clubs latest press release by our beloved CEO Snead … er, well read on and see.
“As Im sure you are all aware, the early weeks of the Broken Things proved more difficult than the board would have hoped.
Our now settled dispute with our sponsors and the subsequent risk of financial penalties, caused us all no small number of sleepless nights.
But as per any good board, plans were set in motion to deal with al eventualities to ensure the viability of the club going forward and action was taken to mitigate against the risk of this dispute.
As things have transpired, the dice have on the whole run in our favour and the need for a plan B was eradicated with the unfortunate injury to Bam Bam vs the Ingen Dino Clones.
Nevertheless, a plan B was in place, and it is this plan B that allows me to announce today that a new lizard will be hitting the field for us next week verses the Yobz.
Our new #12 will be a face not unknown to you,
Our new #12 will fit perfectly into both the roster and ethos of the club.
And I am so certain of both of these facts because this new #12 is ……
Thats right, thanks to the wonders of modern day prosthetics, I will be able to return to the field and resume my quest for glory not from the sidelines, but on the pitch itself.
With the threat of the fine hanging over our heads, the board decided that rather than lose 50K gold pieces, should we remain “Unbroken”, that this gold would better be served by hiring a twelfth man to fulfil the role, should he be needed.
Unfortunately due to league rules, transfers in mid season being limited to new players or journeymen, we had to use our heads.
GAPS wanted a Broken Thing but where could we get one?
And then it struck us. We had the very thing there in front us in myself.
To take this route however, I had to be on the roster, and my previous tail loss (and subsequent entire lack of balance) made this impossible.
Miracles do happen however, and our research team identified a way and means, Lustria Cosmetic Clinic!
For the bargain fee of 60K gold pieces, we were able to procure a new prosthetic tail, made to measure for me. Even better they were able to decorate this with golden veins to represent both our ethos and sponsors products in one.
It was genius!
The “Broken Thing” and repaired in a manner our sponsors would delight in.
So there it is folks, a new signing for the club, a new chance for me and with it a new …. or rather old name.
As of today I will no longer be known as Snead Halftail …. THE WHIPTAIL IS BACK!
See you gameday ”
Well who saw that coming? Certainly not me, and how will he fit in?
Littlefoot in particular is unlikely to be happy. A second agi4 skink in Stormfly has already put in doubt this role as the star of the team and I’m sure Snead … sorry Whiptail won’t be happen to remain in the shadow either.
Three skinks, all after one top spot.
Interesting times ahead perhaps??