To whom it may concern;

I’ve been hoodwinked, scammed, BAMBOOZELED!  Recently I was without a team to coach due to the mating habits of my previous Lizard team. I was approached by a mysterious man in a cloak with an offer I couldn’t refuse. Coach a team of juiced up chaos in the MML.  I was excited! We were going to terrorize our way to a championship trophy!

My first clue something was wrong was in game two, when picking up the first dead player of the season off the pitch I noticed on his armor was written “MADE IN NEW ORCLAND”. Another clue was how feeble everyone on the team was. Everyone except for the one player I personally Brought in from my good friend Don Jamaica, or as you know him More_Shots.

After 7 deaths in 7 games ( 5 technically because I was able to save 2 with an Apothecary [ 7 technically, because two of the dead were killed even further by an apothecary]) I knew something was up. Imagine my horror when I saw a beastman remove his horns, and his “costume” to reveal a fat elf with fingers missing.  It appears the KY bourbons, minus Captain Morgan, were imposters. I’ve been coaching half-lings, goblins, and Elves with a thyroid problem for a whole season. To top it off I got them 4 wins and a bowl game in the process. Most of the team are already days away from death already, so it shouldn’t be a surprise so many died this year.

All this being said………THE REPTILE DYSFUNCTION ARE RETURNING TO THE MML.  I have already signed the paperwork folks, and we are putting you on notice. My team is back and ready for blood. They were in the Semi-finals in Season 3 and they want a championship. Watch your backs, kids, it’s about to get bloody.